I Understand He's my Dad but...GEEZ

[GrungeEquestrian]

So I couldn't be happier with my current boyfriend. He is polite, small town traditional boy, respects and treats me great, listens, and we get along great. Everything has been smooth sailing and at the moment I couldn't ask for anything else from him. My mom absolutely ADORES me because he talks to her, comes to my house 9 times out of 10, and even gets along with my siblings.

My dad on the other hand is a COMPLETELY different story. Now I understand that he is my dad, and I'm his "little girl" and he is here to protect me. But there is time that you have to give me just a little more leash. I mean I'm 17 years old, I'll be turning 18 and soon be in the big bad world all by myself. My mom has tried to talk to him about it and all my dad will say is that "he is a guy, and he knows what 19 year old boys want." Which my mom usually responds to "yeah the same thing 17 year old boys want." My dad says that it isn't that he does trust me but he doesn't trust my boyfriend. The one who came to my house before we were even close to official, shook my dad's hand and said "Hi sir, my name is Nick _____."

It annoys me that my dad is fake nice to Nick and then walks out of the room and complains to my mom. We watched Dukes of Hazard at my house with my dad and apparently are knees were touching. The next morning my dad complained that "we were stroking each others legs..." :rolleyes: Ok first off we weren't that just sounds plain weird and second I've dated the guy for 2 months, does my dad still believe that I haven't kissed a guy before :innocent:. I really wish my dad could meet the kind of guy he thinks Nick is, maybe he would like him a bit more, or at the very least give him a chance. My dad says that buying Trouble was a waste of money, since he thought if I got Trouble there would be no boys. And when I do go to Nick's parent's house he makes an excuse that I have to be home early. My mom tells me to be home at 10:00 then calls at 8:00 and say my dad needs to work on the car so be home at 8:30. THEN when I get home, my dad doesn't even work on the car?!? I just hate how overly protective he is...I go where I say I'm going. My mom has called me and asked to talk to his mom and she has. Sorry for the long vent guys...it just frustrates me.

[WashingtonBay]

Vent away... but you're better off just coping with, and maneuvering around your dad than you are fighting him. Be happy he's at least polite to the boy's face. It could be worse... I remember worse! You'll be on your own soon enough, make that happen on good terms. :)

[dame_wolf]

Sorry to have to say it but there's not a whole lot you can do about it. Like WB said just cope with it it's not forever.

Oh and I have the same trouble with my cousin. He hasn't liked any guy I've ever been involved with but when I'm single he tells me I need to find a man to take care of me. No one is ever gonna be good enough but I just laugh it off. Nothing to do about it.

[gabhainn]

NO-body is ever good enough for Daddy's little girl period I know cuz I am Daddy.......Kevin

[cowboyup3371]

NO-body is ever good enough for Daddy's little girl period I know cuz I am Daddy.......Kevin

How true!!!!

[mare]

Vent away... but you're better off just coping with, and maneuvering around your dad than you are fighting him. Be happy he's at least polite to the boy's face. It could be worse... I remember worse! You'll be on your own soon enough, make that happen on good terms. :)

I agree.

I have a friend who is a single mom. She is reallllllly tough. She takes a copy of the boy's driver's license. Has her son go out and get the VIN number off the vehicle, even if they are riding with others, and she'll get the driver's license of the driver if it's another guy. Tells each and every one, "You are my daughter's friend. You are NOT my friend. Remember that." Her daughter doesn't mind. Says there is no way a guy is going to mess her over with a mom like that. :)

[Horseaholic]

oy, I'm sorry :( Fortunately, (for me) I didn't have to deal with situations like this. My dad always gave the guy a chance. Although my family isn't your average family and most people don't grow up the way I did so I guess everything about us isn't normal lol.

Maybe you could sit your dad down for a serious talk (be rational and calm) and ask him if there was anything Nick could do to make him feel more comfortable (besides the obvious smart response of leave you alone ;) )? Tell him how you really feel about Nick and that you aren't going to let anything happen that isn't smart or responsible. Idk that's just my 2 cents. :P

Either way...Good luck!

[saddlebum]

Ok, I am a dad. I only have one daughter. I was being polite to boys that came over to date her but she said I still intimidated them. Good! I was asked to lighten up even though I was being polite. I did. Then she started dating a kid whom I didn't like but being the moron that I am I listened to everyone but myself and stayed cool. That sorry piece of crap tried to rape my daughter in our house one day while I was gone. Of course I didn't find out about it until the punk was long gone.

May I suggest to you Grunge that one of these days you are going to thank your dad for being so protective. Even though it is a big fat pain right now you'll get through it. If the boys dating you get through it then they may be worth keeping. If they can't handle it then maybe they aren't worth having around.

I have a friend who raised three daughters. He told me he tried the polite stuff too but it didn't work out very well. His philosophy was make those guys kiss his butt. He was right.\

Dad's don't get enough credit for having the instinct to know what a boy is really after. Remember your dad WAS a boy at one time.

Give your dad a break. He loves you and wants to keep you safe. Again, I'll bet you a soda pop that one day you'll look back and be so happy that your dad loved you enough to take the hard road.

2 cents from a Dad

[GrungeEquestrian]

Thanks everyone for listening to my vent. I know deep down things are never gonna change, even if I date this guy for years but I needed to get my frustration out. My dad told me this morning that I needed to start looking at colleges, and he knew some good ones in Nebraska and Utah :huh:. Not that I have a problem with out of state colleges but just 2 months ago he said he didn't think I should go to Murray State in Kentucky because it was too far away ;). That was right before Nick came into the picture....

Vent away... but you're better off just coping with, and maneuvering around your dad than you are fighting him. Be happy he's at least polite to the boy's face. It could be worse... I remember worse! You'll be on your own soon enough, make that happen on good terms.

Yeah true, thanks WB. It could be a lot worse. And after last night with my dad arguing with my mom that I should be home at 10:00 instead of 10:30...things aren't going to change. He has even become that way with my other friends, that aren't guys, I still don't understand how he can say he trusts me. Out of my 17 years of living I've never have tried smoking, drinking, or drugs...I guess he is just trying to make sure it stays that way :rolleyes:.

Ok, I am a dad. I only have one daughter. I was being polite to boys that came over to date her but she said I still intimidated them. Good! I was asked to lighten up even though I was being polite. I did. Then she started dating a kid whom I didn't like but being the moron that I am I listened to everyone but myself and stayed cool. That sorry piece of crap tried to rape my daughter in our house one day while I was gone. Of course I didn't find out about it until the punk was long gone.

May I suggest to you Grunge that one of these days you are going to thank your dad for being so protective. Even though it is a big fat pain right now you'll get through it. If the boys dating you get through it then they may be worth keeping. If they can't handle it then maybe they aren't worth having around.

I have a friend who raised three daughters. He told me he tried the polite stuff too but it didn't work out very well. His philosophy was make those guys kiss his butt. He was right.\

Dad's don't get enough credit for having the instinct to know what a boy is really after. Remember your dad WAS a boy at one time.

Give your dad a break. He loves you and wants to keep you safe. Again, I'll bet you a soda pop that one day you'll look back and be so happy that your dad loved you enough to take the hard road.

2 cents from a Dad

Thanks saddlebum. I do know my dad loves me and worries about me and I do wish I had a better relationship with him but we butt heads on a lot of things. I am grateful that he lets me go out period, but I guess I'm just venting. My dad has known my boyfriend for 4 years now and his uncle is one of my good family friends, whom my dad is very close to. So I thought that he would approve, he is actually the first boy who has introduced himself to my dad, none of the others did and he never even saw them and never stated that he had a problem. I guessout of sight out of mind thing. And yes, having a protective dad DOES weed out the bad ones that can't handle it. Thanks again!

[42many]

You should have seen when I started dating my now-husband. I was 17 and he was 27!! Talk about a freaked out Dad. In fact, I'd dated him for awhile before they actually found out the age difference (he looked much younger). One day my mom asked me how old he was and I delayed answering until I was running out the door... :) Silly youth! As long as he continues to be polite and respectful and treat you well and you don't make a big fuss out of it, he'll come around.

Now we're 9 years married and have 2 kids of our own to worry about - and Dad likes him just fine! :D

[shewasmyshadow]

My dad was the exact opposite!! Never checked on us, no curfew, nothing. And I was going to a BAPTIST COLLEGE! At college there was a no touching, no riding in cars, no nothing with the opposite sex! We got signed permission slips to ride together and hung out all night watching TV in my parents basement on the weekends... Of course, Nathan was the son of our Pastor, but still. I would have expected him to drill him a little bit.

On our own, though, we made it to the alter virgins. ;)

[iluvbo]

Wow...well it could be worse. My dad wont let me hang out alone with guys or date. Ever. I cant go out with a guy that I like with friends, either. Has to be in his presence, or at a church function or something. -sigh-
But I know how you feel!!