Overcoming Fears

[elevenelevenxo]

I've never really had any problems with being afraid of horses, on the ground or in the saddle, until recently. I came back to riding about a year ago and unfortunately last spring I went through a string of horses that seemed to instill a lot of anxiety in me, mostly through handling them on the ground. I was stepped on by two horses (when they spooked and basically jumped on me) and one of those times I broke my foot. The mare that I briefly owned wasn't handled often by her previous owners and was extremely skiddish. She hated wind, deer, the barn, etc...etc...and spooked often with little to no warning that she was about to bolt. And I was riding an older TB gelding for a while who was a huge challenge for me - he was your stereotypical TB...but he reared once while I was on him when another horse and rider cantered behind us and nearly ran away with me onto the street in front of the field we were riding in, and another time he took off with me and gave me a good series of bucks - needless to say, his brakes were pretty rusty....

But now, I'm extremely jumpy and I work myself up into panic attacks even sometimes, especially when it comes to picking feet. I've never been kicked, but my mare spooked while tied once and I was cleaning her feet.....it terrified me. So now, sometimes it takes me several attempts to work up the nerve to just pick up feet to clean them.

I know horses have a sort of 6th sense and can read your state of mind, which is why I very much want to get past this mental block I seem to be having. I know they know I don't feel confident and therefore tend to act up a little more than normal so it ends up just being a big cycle. And I don't do this every single day - yesterday I had a really good day. I picked up and cleaned the mare's feet I rode on the first try, free longed her and even just played with her in the arena, then had a really good longe line lesson and rode without reins for the first time ever. I felt confident and capable, but most days I'm a big ball of worry and tension and anxiety anymore. And I'm sick of it, because I feel like it's starting to really interfere with my time with horses and it's stopping me from becoming a better horse person.

Any one else experience anything like this? What did you do that helped you get past it?

[lisakaye]

After my accident last year with Easter I am still very nervous and I find myself holding my breath and expecting her to do something wrong. I usually start from the ground and work my way up with her. I am still nervous and I know my anxiety shows. I have to remind myself to breathe and plant my butt in the saddle. I take it slow and take it one day at a time. I am still not so confident wirth Easter cause I know how badly I was hurt and it scares me. I ride Brutus who is much calmer and even he sometimes spooks me. Katie on the otherhand has such a wonderful relationship with Easter now that if she is with me I can't ride Easter because Easter gets mad and tries to throw me. Go figure on that one. I would say the best advise that I can give is just take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself. One day and one small thing at a time. I am just now getting up the courage to gallop and it has been over a year.

[WashingtonBay]

I think most of us have felt fear at some point. I never did when I was young, but the more experienced I got the more things I knew to be afraid of, the more things I'd seen go wrong.

The key is to listen to the warnings in your head about the risk, and then answer it and move forward. Don't ignore the risk, make a plan to deal with it.

Personally, I too have had horses act up working on their feet tied, so I prefer to not tie them for this, unless it's a very well known horse. If the horse seems tense when you are wanting to get under them, don't do it then. Solve the tension first, whether it's moving them to a better spot, lunging them a little to work past that energy or just untying and holding the line or having someone else hold the horse. All these are fine. There's no rule you have to fight it out with a tense horse over something like cleaning feet. Solve the tension... then clean feet.

The key to not being afraid next time is figuring out a way to make it successful this time, despite the risk. :)

[oursarge]

I totally understand your fears. I have no real issues on the ground unless the horses are nuts, I will go in a pasture with 20 or more horses and not be scared but will have a lead to swing or a lunge whip with me in case. If I know the horse is a brat I'm way more cautious and some I won't go in with at all, it depends on who is where, they are all divided up into different pastures.

All of my issues come when I am riding outside an enclosed area. I am terrified of trail rides or riding the horses anywhere they can take off on me. It's been a fear since I've been a little kid. I have been on trail rides but I mostly ride one big pony my friend owns. I've had one of my horses on a few rides and for some he was good and for some he was horrible, once he had to be led home after he jumped a ditch with me on him and tried to turn around and go in the other direction of the other horses. That didn't build my confidence up. Another time my friend and I were taking a nice ride, and it was nice, I was enjoying it for once, he was being good then the dog came up along side of him [it was windy so he didn't hear] and normally nothing scares him but he took off. I had him stopped within a few feet but that scared me. I had our mare on one small ride. They take her alot if they need her for a trail ride and she has never done one thing bad but I just have a huge fear of taking her out of the indoor or outdoor arenas. She's also bad at the one rein stop, she locks her neck so again doesn't give me much confidence.

Our mare is good most of the time, our barn owners [and friends] are away so we're taking care of the whole place which means I have the arena to myself. The other day I never thought twice about saddling her and riding her while I was there by myself. Maybe not the best idea but I knew a girl who works there would be there in an hr or so if she had to call 911. She was really good and I was fine but I wasn't outside. If I had to take her outside with no fences I would have been a total wreck.

I don't know why I can't get over that fear, we might end up doing trail rides with a lead line, I want to go on them I'm just scared and our mare gets bored with arena work and does need the trails.

Good luck with your fears, I wish I could get over mine. If I thought hypnosis would work I'd even try that!!!!

[ImaBronsonBear]

Any one else experience anything like this? What did you do that helped you get past it?

I haven't had experience with the hoof-picking-up fear, but i've definitely had experience with fear.;)

I think a lot of overcoming fear is in taking it slowly, and just doing one day at a time. Do what you're comfortable with first. If the only comfortable thing you can do with horses is to watch them graze from outside the pasture, do that. Once you're comfortable with that, do a little bit more. Go up and pet them. If you start to feel uncomfortable, go back to your comfort zone. Then go out of it a little bit. And just do that over and over and over.:) Fear is not something that can be overcome in a day, or even a lifetime. I had a really scary riding experience over three years ago. I got nervous just three days ago about trotting my horse. Sure, i've come along ways, but i'm still dealing with it nearly every day.

Just take it one step at a time, don't push youself too hard just like you wouldn't push your horse too hard if he was scared of something.;)

[KittySawrus]

For ages and ages and ages I was pretty scared of being around horses - regardless, this is when I started volunteering at the RDA, leading and general stable management. My fear was pretty much based on a lack of experience with horses: although I'd been around them for 5 years, doing whatever you can think of stable-management wise, I never really had to deal with naughty or skittish horses; the "older people" always did that.

To get over it, it was just persistence, and people I could rely on. If I was too scared, I'd get someone else to do it and observe, until one day I just asked them to keep an eye on the pony whilst I did something...then eventually I didn't need them there at all.

I think you really need the support of good friends, who won't take the mick out of you for being frightened, and will intervene, or support you, when you get too nervous. The only reason it took me so long was because I only saw horses once or twice a week. That's still the case, but those one/two times I'm much more confident and now I'm one of the "older ones" dealing with the naughty skittish horses.

As for riding, you'd probs benefit from riding some schoolmasters, or bomb-proof beasties, for a while. Don't feel like you must overcome your fear by facing the worst, because that is so not the way to go. Take your time, do it at your leisure. One of the keys to a calm horse is to act as if you have all the time in the world.

Hugs to you...you'll get past it. We're all here for online support :)

[Cat]

It takes lots of time, a lot of deep breaths, working with your horse to build the trust back up, and again, more time. Start with small things. When you start to get nervous - instead of quiting or just pushing through, just step back a bit, take a couple deep breaths, assess the situation and try again.

Good luck!