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Pinky
10-26-2008, 09:09 AM
Right, for the people that don't know - Heidi was the first horse I leased. Basically; I completely took over her care and costs for 3 or 4 months and had the time of my life. She was like my own, my first horse in a way.

A 17hh (16.3hh on papers), 6yr old, Dark Bay, OTTB mare would make a brilliant 'first horse'. And she did :D

She started my love of big horses - but no horse I've ridden since has really been like her.

Sure, I've got Sammy (and he is very special) but as his owner still does a majority of his care I don't have the bond like I did with Heidi.

She taught me a lot - mostly that running in a flat-out gallop (like when she used to race) bareback and bridless up a field is the most fun possible. :) She has issues that I was never told about; but she never showed them to me. Apparently, she used to kick, buck, rear, bite and bolt.
The worst she did with me was put her head up so I couldn't bridle her.

Those 3 months were the best of my life. But then her owner decided to sell (hoped we'de buy her). But my mum didn't want to commit to owning a horse (I was...13/14?) and she would have had to have had the papers in her name. So Heidi got sold to some pretty dodgy people.

I heard recently she'd been sold to a dealer - I'm not sure if this is true or not. And, a year after I first met her (to the day), I check on horses for loan online. I find a horse that looks/sounds/is possibly Heidi. But she's for loan - so I can't get her

I'm getting a job soon; if she's still up I'll contact the owners. I'd give anything to have her back :( There is a video on my youtube (2 actually), I'll put it up later.


Worse news now....
Okay, Sam and Aike are kept at their owners house. Now they're selling the house and moving 2 hours away; plus taking the horses :( So I can't see them anymore.

Really fed up right now and I just don't have the energy to try and communicate how upset I am. Third time lucky....I wish.

I give up. Seriously, I do. When everything is going well this happens. Maybe I'm just not meant to have horses right now.

We even thought about buying their house (plus 12 acres, 8 stables, menage, tack room etc.) but then my mum realised if we did that I might start wanting my own horse again - and that'd take time away from her gym time (eh?:huh:) so now she doesn't want the house.

*sigh* I. give. up. I'll keep an eye out for more horses to exercise but right now, there are none and I have no way to finance my own lessons (because, you know, the £500 my dad gives my mum a month in maintenence for me won't cover a £10 lesson):doh:.

cloedoll
10-26-2008, 09:16 AM
Awe, Pinky, I'm real sorry. I know how much Heidi meant to you and how horrible it was when you had to say goodbye. I feel so bad you have to do the same with Sam now! :( I dunno what to say, I hope something great works out.

(((big hugs)))

FatSpottedAppy
10-26-2008, 09:18 AM
I am really sorry Pinky, this all sucks too much. I really hope something can work out, though. Just keep trying.

AppyLover
10-26-2008, 09:33 AM
I understand how everything looks bad right now and how you most likely feel ready to give up. But know that there is light at the end of this tunnel, you just don't see it yet. Things do happen for a reason, just while that thing is happening the reason is hard to see. Trust in what ever higher power you believe in that things will work out and work out for the better. Use this time between horses to refelect on what each has taught you and plan your future around the next one to come into your life. If Haidi is meant to come back, she will, or maybe she is ment to move on to something else so another horse who will need you even more can come into your life. You are young with A LOT of future ahead of you, don't give up on horses, just plan ahead for the next one.

KittySawrus
10-26-2008, 09:38 AM
Oh wow D: that's the pits!! I'm sorry things aren't working out for you, I know you and Heidi were great together :).

I hate when parents won't give a reasonable explanation, too. I'm sure your mum does have one...but "cutting back on her gym time" wouldn't really cut it with me.
(Besides, if you're gonna get a house with stables, aren't you obv. gonna want your own horse??)

I hope you can get a good job and afford lessons at least, and at best, loan Heidi again, if it is her :) Just concentrate now on what you can do, and how to get what you want - not what you haven't got.

Hugs (>")>

Annasmom
10-26-2008, 11:01 AM
awe sorry Pinky! I know how you feel but you'll find "the one" maybe heidi maybe one just like her. He/she will be placed in your life just wait! :)

jeezitsjacki
10-26-2008, 11:17 AM
wow that sucks. I hope you get everything figured out and things start getting better

rockyridge
10-26-2008, 11:28 AM
hi....i am sorry that your parents are wrapped up in adult things and not parent things......could you try and negotiate ...20 more from dad right to you ...and 20 from mom....then you would have your lessons.....life is negotiating......try it
good luck

Gypsy Rose
10-26-2008, 12:26 PM
I'm sorry to hear this- wish I knew what to tell you, except hang in there!

lovesfortune
10-26-2008, 02:05 PM
Oh Pinky, I know you have been bummed out lately. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this at once. Hopefully Heidi and you will meet up again in the right circumstances and it will work out. I rode Norman (a friends horse) over 10 years ago and loved him, but then things happened and I didn't know where he ended up... now he is in my pasture and he's ALL MINE! As long as you continue to look, there is still a reason to hope.

Hopefully your parents, mostly your mom, come to realize that horses aren't just a "thing" to you and they are more than that.

((hugs))

JackieB
10-26-2008, 02:07 PM
I'm really sorry, Pinky. Please hang in there and don't give up. You'll be involved with your beloved horses again. Just try to stay upbeat and visit with us to help keep your spirits lifted.