How would you react?

[FatSpottedAppy]

You break up with your boyfriend (of 3.5 years, first serious relationship.)

You rant to your best friend about him, and she says tons of crap about him.

When you were dating your ex, he complained about her and made fun of her.

Two weeks after you break up, they're dating.

How would you react to this?

I'm 1,000% over him, I really honestly don't care, the only thing I'm irked about is the fact that she started dating him because it just seems like common sense not to. I don't know how to explain myself.

[cheval]

That crap happens a lot. And I'd be pissed and I sure as hell would end the friendship.

It's just a rule. You don't date your friends ex's. Period.

And it just goes to show you she wasn't much of a friend anyway. Sorry that happened to you. I have two friends that have had the exact same thing. It was horrible for them. :(

[oursarge]

What Cheval said!

[WashingtonBay]

I'd say it's a crazy world...And be glad you at least know that now.

[Remali]

I'd be furious.....with both of them. She was no friend. I'd never have anything to do with either one of them and I wouldn't give them the time of day.

[FatSpottedAppy]

I talked to her ex and he said that she said that Jake is nothing like I say he is and she loved him before I ever did.

Excuse me. I dated Jake for 3 and a half years and I know layers upon layers of secrets(deep DEEP secrets) and we've shared absolutely everything together. We were the stereotypical high school-love story relationship that everyone wanted. She doesn't know what love is and she does not know Jake and all the crap he has said about her-- I am just smiling with satisfaction knowing this little thing will not last. She lost her only "true" friend in school.. No one else likes her. Smile!

She also thinks that if I was a true friend I wouldnt be mad about her dating my ex. Her ex said that if she was a true friend then she wouldn't of.

[WashingtonBay]

I will say that among my group of college friends, there was some date-swapping that took place among friends... some lasting, some not, in our wider social group. But there is a grace period, particularly if the relationship has been serious, when you KNOW if you go for it, you will lose the friend. And I did have a friend or two who did not honor that.

[lovesfortune]

What Cheval and WB said. i would be upset. I'm glad you confronted her about it and told her it was shady. You don't need a friend like that anyways. But it still does suck.

[miatapony]

makes you kind of wonder if there was something underlining that one ..... just pokeing sorry .... i wouldnt mind it ... let her have him cool .. you dont need nor want him ..... ive dated friends of exs before...

[Kaitlyn]

oh HELL NO. Just wait girl..it's like Eric and his new 'gf...' the skeletons don't come out til later and then the other goes wait what? And that's it..it won't last.

[Ranger44]

Be an optimist. If you are over him and she is not a true friend then they deserve each other. You probably know that they will crash and burn. Smile, be happy you are not them, take the high road and come out smelling like the proverbial rose. You are young and if you have only one more bf before marriage it will be a lot less than average. Take your time, move on, live and be happy. :)

[lisakaye]

I couldn't have said it any better than Ranger..

[GrungeEquestrian]

That crap happens a lot. And I'd be pissed and I sure as hell would end the friendship.

It's just a rule. You don't date your friends ex's. Period.

And it just goes to show you she wasn't much of a friend anyway. Sorry that happened to you. I have two friends that have had the exact same thing. It was horrible for them.
Agreed a hundred percent. Wow that's just low, but heck those two deserve each other.

[Horseaholic]

I can tell you one thing...your friendship with this girl will never be the same.(If u choose to "forgive" her) My old best friend went on ONE date with my current boyfriend after we had "seen" each other and drifted apart. She asked me if I would mind...I said yes I mind but it's your choice. She went out with him. Ever since then (we shortly got together for real-and are going to get married one day lol) she always tries to act like she knows him better than me or like she has a secret with him but she doesn't. It totally put a bad taste in my mouth about her. I don't understand how friends date other friends exs. It's just weird.
To be as vague as I can be I kind of "saw" one of my friends current serious boyfriends before they even really knew each other and I don't even think she knows there was ever a "we" between her bf and me. I feel awkward if she starts to talk ab his exs and I have no interest in telling her about "us" because I really enjoy our friendship and I feel like it would make things weird.

If the two of them have a "connection" let them enjoy each other in all of their crummyness ;) Hold your head high.

[valleyrider]

I agree with everyone here, not much more to add..She could have atleast let some time pass and talk to you about it.. I know how you feel, it happend to me too.. But it was with my *X* husband.. The ink was not dry on the divorce papers and she was sleeping with him. Makes you wonder,, there must have been something going on way before I figured it out..

[cheval]

You'd only be human if it did bother you and quite frankly, I'd be very surprised if it didn't. You may be 1000% over him but on a deeper level there is still a connection after that many years that doesn't go away quite so easily. So don't be down on yourself if you are angry and hurt - even though you do know you aren't going to get back with him - it's okay to have those feelings.

[Equine_Woman]

I would feel really hurt and betrayed. That's a pretty serious boyfriend and no friend should date a pretty serious boyfriend period. I still hold grudges on some of my friend's exs from high school just on principle. . . I'm very sorry you are having to go through the breakup (which no matter what you say, has got to SUCK) and go through the betrayal of your friend.

[Petra]

sorry to hear that. i think it's quite a slap in a face from both of them. i couldn't be friends with her any more. that's just not right.

[Steelhorserider]

I think they deserve each other and you are much better off without both of them. Even if you are over him, it would bother you if your supposed best friend date your ex--expecially so soon after you two broke up.

[Vibe]

My mom's sister dated my dad before they got together. Now I am here. I wouldn't care, like you said you two are over.
If its ment to be it just is, if not its not.

[palomino]

My ex slept with 4 of my 'friends'...sucks.

[KittySawrus]

Hmm...
I think I'd be pretty PO'd, to put it lightly.
You just don't get a break, do you hon?
Hugs! (>")>

ETA: Ranger44, awesome :) good point.

[allie0]

That crap happens a lot. And I'd be pissed and I sure as hell would end the friendship.

It's just a rule. You don't date your friends ex's. Period.

And it just goes to show you she wasn't much of a friend anyway.


Agreed!
I would be livid!

FSA just try to lift yourself above it, she obviously doesn't respect your feelings.

[peace_baby]

Majorly it's up to you how you react to this. I'd probably feel pretty angry and betrayed. But it's over. I would feel in silence and ignore the both of them. They'll get what's coming to them. Karma's a b!tch. ;)

[allie0]

Karma's a b!tch. ;)


Ahh Karma.. it sorts everything out :)

[FatSpottedAppy]

It's a very odd pairing. They dated for a few weeks before but broke up because R gave her ex boyfriend oral while they were dating. Jake has said so much crap about her, there's a million nicknames, flaws, & faults that he has said and pointed out. He is lucky I am who I am because I could bring that relationship down in a heartbeat if I wanted to.

I was actually at a Robert's party last night with some friends and Robert & I left for a hour to H(another friend)'s because he called me and I wanted to know what he wanted. He was having his own little bonfire party up there and guess who was there.. H, Jake and R(jake's new gf). I got a lot of satisfaction when H and Joey left R and Jake to come over and talk to Robert and I and complained about how annoying Jake and R were.

Robert told me today that Jake IM'd him and said that he didnt come to his party because he didn't want drama with me. He also said that he was happier with R-- it's only been one day. I am getting the feeling that he is just dating her because he either wants to make me jealous/have "revenge", she's a rebound girlfriend, or he's tired of being alone. Or maybe he could've liked her the whole time. Who knows.


You see, I care about Jake in a way I care about a acquaintance and nothing more. I've had some amazing moments with him but he has said some very hurtful things to me and I can honestly say when I found out he had a girlfriend I didn't get any sort of ping of adrenaline in my chest. I have never felt so happy, peaceful, relaxed, CHILL, being able to go out and hang out with anyone I want to, have guy friends, and have interests again. I enjoy the new emotions and thoughts and feelings. I feel like I missed out on life for the last three years being sheltered from everyone. Everyone is amazed how relaxed I am about this whole situation, lmbo. :)

This feels more like a journal entry than anything. Dear Diary..

[lovesfortune]

Well if nothing else, I'm glad that this has taught you that you are happy with yourself and where you are and that you don't need a guy to hold you back right now in your life. :)

[Tatesgram]

Well, good for you! I'd be mad, but it's definitely an eye opener. You know who you can't trust. I've been married almost 30 years, my husband is my best friend, but I don't need him to be a complete person. I know too many women that settle for less than they deserve because they don't want to be alone. I'd rather be alone.

I'm glad you're okay. But just for fun, if you run into them, give a little smirk or snicker, like you know something they don't, which of course, you do. Of course, after a time or two that will be old and you can just ignore them.

[natisha]

I must be a freak because it wouldn't bother me at all. Heck, I've even set friends up with old BF's I thought they would get along with, & they did. Sometimes I would do it just so the guy would leave me alone.
I figure if I set trash out by the road I don't care who picks it up.

[miatapony]

I must be a freak because it wouldn't bother me at all. Heck, I've even set friends up with old BF's I thought they would get along with, & they did. Sometimes I would do it just so the guy would leave me alone.
I figure if I set trash out by the road I don't care who picks it up.


this is sooo true !!!!

[natisha]

this is sooo true !!!! yeah, I'm a freak :(

[gabhainn]

yeah, I'm a freak :( Not a freak my darling, a pragmatist........Kevin

[natisha]

Not a freak my darling, a pragmatist........Kevin Honey, I have to look that word up before I decide if you are in trouble or not.:)

Looking up the big word......

OK, I still love you. I like being a pragmatist!