My 3 year old thinks he's 16

[Equine_Woman]

Just jumping right in here guys!!

Need some advice!!

My 3 year old wonderful boy has turned into a terror lately!!! He was such a good child for the twos that I was hoping we'd miss out on any bad attitude and behavior problems.

Wyatt is very advanced in his skills and vocabulary and I swear he acts like a teenager!! We have a pretty good schedule here and he knows what is expected of him and I haven't had any real problems until the last month. He has started talking back anytime I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do. . which I know is normal for this age. . my problem is I can't find discipline that works. . I don't care for spanking but I have spanked him and he just continued talking back and kicking his feet at me. . and told me he wanted another spanking!!

We've done timeout since he was two but he has started trying to get put into time out around nap time to stall going down for a nap!! In fact he swatted at me the other day as he was protesting going to bed (which is a BIG no no) and I knew he did it so he would get into trouble and not go straight to bed. . so I continued on to bed so he didn't get what he wanted, and he stops and says "But I hit you Momma, I have to go sit in time out!!" I told him he wasn't, he was going straight to bed. . and he yelled the entire walk to his bed saying "But I want to be in time out!!!"

The worst part is once he starts talking back I can't get him to quit. I feel like I'm in a sparring contest. I'm quickly loosing my patience and I miss my 2 year old!!

I'm thinking I'm going to have to start taking things away from him to get his attention. . but I'm not sure if maybe there is something else I can do!!!

So any advice would be appreciated.

[Pinky]

If he acts like a teenager, treat him like one!

He loses TV, sport etc. priviledges. Or time with horses is reduced depending on the amount of time he would spend in time out.

Or (even better) as he tries to get out of naps by going to 'time out'; make his naps longer for the amount of time he would have been in time out.

If a teenager acts like a child, they're treated like one. Maybe the vice-versa approach with your son could work?

Best of luck with him, sooner or later he'll be thanking you for being such a great mom.:D

[Cat]

Don't have any kids, so I don't have much advice, but just think - if he is acting like that now, what is he going to be like in 10-15 years??:eek:

[Equine_Woman]

Don't have any kids, so I don't have much advice, but just think - if he is acting like that now, what is he going to be like in 10-15 years??:eek:

I KNOW!!! Lol. Hopefully by then he will have enough fear and respect from whatever I find to fix it now and I won't have that problem. I'm going to nip it in the bud now!!! He was such a perfect 2 year old!! My friends with kids were so jealous!!!! I should have known the 3 year old year would be my downfall!

[cheval]

I agree with taking away his favorite toys, favorite t.v. shows, things like that.

Man, my family just had to threaten me with loss of horse time and I straightened right up!

[WashingtonBay]

Don't have any kids, so I don't have much advice, but just think - if he is acting like that now, what is he going to be like in 10-15 years??:eek:

I don't have kids either... So I don't know how to advise...

Can you Round-Pen them? :p

[Cat]

LOL - too funny WB

[cloedoll]

I'm a teenager so I have no advice, but...

and told me he wanted another spanking!!

I did the same thing when I was younger! :P

[Sundays Man]

Sounds like he hates going to bed worse than time out. Make him go to bed when he acts out. Find out what he REALLY dislikes and make him do it. You know, make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult.

[Equine_Woman]

I need to try round penning him!!! Why hadn't I thought of that!! lol. Thanks guys for the advice! I'm sure it's a stage and I just have to be consistant. ..but sometimes its hard not to pull my hair out! Today has been good though because he's at Grami's house!!! :D

[JackieB]

Can you Round-Pen them? :p

I let out a snort! Good thing the beagle wasn't trying to sleep in here.

I don't have children either, but the advice to treat him like a teenager if he wishes to act like one makes sense to me. Remove privileges that he enjoys.

What a little pistol he is! Gotta love that spunk, though. He'll probably go far in life.

[Jump The Moon]

I'm a 14yo now..
But, basically when I was younger I didn't care about punishments. I'd get sent to my room etc, but I'd never not be allowed to ride because my parents thought it good doing outdoors activity, so punishments would happen but they'd never really make me regret it. Nowadays, I do - because they DO say no riding xD

[SedonaThunder]

Today has been good though because he's at Grami's house!!! :D
Isn't it amazing how that works? I don't have kids either but I often have my nieces over night and I'm always amazed how their personalities change the minute their parents walk in the door to pick them up. I'm always saying "but they were so good all weekend"!:confused:

He sounds like a little spitfire - much like my youngest niece Hannah who is called Hurricane Hannah if that gives you an idea.:D Good luck with that!:)

[Equine_Woman]

Thanks everyone!! He spent TWO nights at Grami's this weekend so I missed him terribly!!! He's been a good boy today so I'm hoping what I did last week has sunk in and my normally nice and respectful child will be visible once again this week.

(At nap time he whined that he didn't want to go but he went willingly and then laid down and said, "night Momma! I love you!!" and rolled onto his side like a good boy!! Yay! Then he went STRAIGHT to sleep)

[Horseless]

have you tried duct tape??? :D

[Equine_Woman]

lol, no I'd probably end up the one duct taped. . .

[lovesfortune]

Well at least I have something to look forward to? My son is 2 1/2 and he is already starting this. Time outs used to work for us too and he still goes in there, but now he won't sit still and I'm having to constantly put him back in. I have found though, that taking away the toy that is causing the problems (He doesn't like to share with his sister & will try to hit her if he finds her playing with his toy) seems to work best. He also tried to do the whole "distraction" thing but tried using Potty instead of time out like your son. I think that I would think that it's best to just ignore the behavior right before bed?

I know that hitting is a no. But if you KNOW he's doing it just before naptime to get put in timeout, if you ignore it, do you think he might stop because he will figure out it won't work anymore?

Consistency is the key though. And that's the hardest part. Some days I want to pull my hair out, but I take a deep breath and just say, "It's better in the long run".. and muddle through.

HOpefully you won't need anymore advice and your loveable son is back for good!

[Equine_Woman]

Well today was MUCH better!!!! Sigh. He started talking back to Daddy and I said to him. "What's going to happen if you keep talking back to Daddy?" and he said, "Daddy is going to take my toy away." and I said "That's right. So what do you say instead?" and he answered "Sorry Daddy, Yes Sir." WOOO HOO!!! A Breakthrough!

[Annasmom]

ahahhah well I am a teenager best advice make sure he knows you mean it.
you know its the funniest thing my trainer is a trainer but she is also a people trainer
she helped a lady at the barn who was having trouble with her boy and she said if your horse widly canters around the roundpen everytime you play at liberty and you stop him when he does that what do you think he will do everytime he wants to stop. "run around widly" so.. don't accept it when he does and when you ask make sure he knows you mean it not in a mean way but just mean it.

[Annasmom]

lol. obviously I don't have kids but thats my best try

[Country Girl 43]

Well glad to hear things are smoothing out for now. Isn't the toddler stage so much fun!

[Happy Horselover]

I don't have kids, and my cousin (and Best Friend) has two. She has the same complaints about her almost three year old....he's getting too darned smart! Being childless, the stories she tells, and the story here, are actually quite amusing. I know they aren't for the mom though! I hope some of the advice given works. I like the round pen idea, hehehe

[Equine_Woman]

Lol, yeah, I went and checked in on my Momma board that I've been on since he was born and all the women who had kids at the same time I did were discussing their "Sassy" 3 year olds!!! Lol, evidently they are pre-programmed to act like little snots at 3!! It somehow makes you feel better when you realize it's not just you!

[alittleoffkey]

I don't have any kids... but I used to babysit a lot. When Will's niece was three she acted like a snot half the time, all I had to do was tell her that she was really hurting my feelings. Or cry at her and tell her that she really hurt my feelings and she'd stop and give me a hug... then we'd talk about how what she did wasn't very nice and why she shouldn't do it again... and what she could have done to get a better reaction. But us girls typically take reason better than boys. :D

My Aunt has two sons (one nearly 18, one 13) and she's famous for her "talks". She can pull one (or both) of the boys into a room and have a chat with them and they'll come out angels. She always gives them two choices - they can do things the easy way or the hard way. To this day they fear "the hard way".