Getting Pregnant...

[shewasmyshadow]

So, I haven't been saying anything to anyone, but Nathan and I are trying to have another child. It's been 3 years since Ethan was born and it's time. We've been off of all forms of "formal" birth control since December of last year. We did do nature planning until June of last year (2009 ;) ). Since then we've been trying to hit my fertility dates as best as possible, but nothing has happened yet. With Ethan we went off of birth control pills and 4 months later we were pregnant. Because of that I assumed it would be that easy again. Now I know I'm at the point where I should be joining fertility forums and getting some help. However, I would rather try asking people that I know and trust first. I know a lot of you have kids and know this stuff. I do intend on going to the doctor too, but until I can get that set up I thought I'd talk to you all.

So, did anyone else here struggle with this stuff and what did you do to successfully get pregnant? If you wanna tell your whole story I'd read it. Or if you want to share, but not with everyone, then I'd welcome PM's. :D

I just shared my struggles with a friend at church today and she said she'd struggled with infertility for 4 years! It was such a blessing and a comfort to share and realize that this is fairly common and nothing to be ashamed about. That's what made me think that I should ask you all. :)

[Horseaholic]

http://www.examiner.com/x-2491-Pregnancy-Examiner~y2009m3d17-Top-10-fertility-enhancing-foods-for-her

I'm not sure how you feel about non traditional medicine but I know that acupuncture can help as well.

good luck and maybe stop trying/stressing ;) that usually seems to work.

[luckydoublesranch]

Don't get discouraged. I wish I had a better "story", but I have had 2 sets of friends now that had been trying FOREVER. Then they all decided to give "trying" a break due to the fact they were so stressed and it was actually causing some marital problems. They went on vacation, came back and WHA LA! Pregnant!! Maybe just take a break from trying, relax, take the pressure off and just have a blast with hubby for a while and redirect your thoughts. Stress can have such a HUGE affect on your body. Good luck...it WILL all work out. :)

[shewasmyshadow]

Good article. Yes, I think I am stressing about it. I keep trying not to, but that seems to make things worse. Anyone who's ever struggled with this knows it's one of the most stressful things that will ever happen to you. I'm thankful it is happening to me, though, because it will give me a whole new understanding and will help me minister to other women that struggle.

Actually I found out that most lube actually kills sperm. Did others know that? It was totally new to me! We use KY and guess that it does block/kill sperm. So I ordered Pre-Seed which is suppose to actually aid sperm in it's journey to the egg. I also got some fertility tests too.

[AUEquine]

I don't have kids, and haven't started trying. But I do have lots of friends/family who are in this point of their life (age wise I'm there... but we're not ready yet). Most of my friends who were having trouble concieving got a shot from their doctors that forced them to ovulate, and that did the trick! I know that's what my mom had to do for me (2nd child, 5 years after first). I really doubt serious infertility issues since you have that wonderful cutie! I'd try the relaxing vaccation first! But definatly go see your doctor pronto! He can probably give you and answer without you spending alot on over the counter stuff.

[zoel_222]

I can't give you any advice as I'm not pregnant and intend on keeping it that way, but I wish you the best of luck and hope you're blessed with another child soon. :)

[palomino]

Both times I got pregnant I know just why I got that way: I have a tipped uterus, so Dr said 'hips to the sky' afterwards for a few minutes helps the little swimmers find their way. No kidding.

[lovesfortune]

LOL. I KNOW so much it seems. TTC is a very cosuming thing for the women, so I know how you feel. Yes, some lube does inhibit the sperm to swim... it depends on the time of some though. But Pre-seed has very great reviews for many women helping with the swimmers.

Have you tried monitoring your CM? That way you can tell if you are actually ovulating? Many women THINK they are ovulating because they have regular period every month, but you can actually have that an not ovulate. You MUST ovulate to get pregnant. Montioring the CM (if you are comfortable with it) is a VERY easy way to tell when your body is getting ready to O, actually O, and afterwards. For some women, even if your cycle is regular you don't ALWAYS O 14 days after your period, etc. For this reason, checking your CM is a good resource. If you are interested in learning this way, I can find a good link for you to read.

Also there are a few places out there that have "Ovulation Calcuators" you can use this if you are very regular and know your signs of Oing. Or you can also use this in combination with the CM. TheBabyCenter.com has a good one.

I know its easy to say, "don't stress and if it happens it happens." but it's SO HARD! I was always the one that tested early thinking that I was for sure pregnant. And always so sad when I wasn't.

Just remember, you have Ethan. You KNOW you can get pregnant. That's 1/2 the battle right there. The rest is all up to timing. :)

[shewasmyshadow]

Both times I got pregnant I know just why I got that way: I have a tipped uterus, so Dr said 'hips to the sky' afterwards for a few minutes helps the little swimmers find their way. No kidding.

:hysterical: Funny mental picture.

Sorry to ask, but does it matter which way? Like face up or down? :doh:

[shewasmyshadow]

LOL. I KNOW so much it seems. TTC is a very cosuming thing for the women, so I know how you feel. Yes, some lube does inhibit the sperm to swim... it depends on the time of some though. But Pre-seed has very great reviews for many women helping with the swimmers.

Have you tried monitoring your CM? That way you can tell if you are actually ovulating? Many women THINK they are ovulating because they have regular period every month, but you can actually have that an not ovulate. You MUST ovulate to get pregnant. Montioring the CM (if you are comfortable with it) is a VERY easy way to tell when your body is getting ready to O, actually O, and afterwards. For some women, even if your cycle is regular you don't ALWAYS O 14 days after your period, etc. For this reason, checking your CM is a good resource. If you are interested in learning this way, I can find a good link for you to read.

Also there are a few places out there that have "Ovulation Calcuators" you can use this if you are very regular and know your signs of Oing. Or you can also use this in combination with the CM. TheBabyCenter.com has a good one.

I know its easy to say, "don't stress and if it happens it happens." but it's SO HARD! I was always the one that tested early thinking that I was for sure pregnant. And always so sad when I wasn't.

Just remember, you have Ethan. You KNOW you can get pregnant. That's 1/2 the battle right there. The rest is all up to timing. :)

Yup. I've got all that stuff going. I have ladytimer reminding me when it happens and though I'm not monitoring my CM I do see it getting to be the consistency of egg whites. Is that enough to know I'm ovulating? Also, I have mitlesmirtz.

[MyMia]

First, let me say my sister was told there was no way she could get pregnant naturally. Four pregnancies (all natural) later, I'd say the doctors aren't always right!

It took me a year and a half to get pregnant with Nathaniel, and almost a year with Adeline. It is very hard, especially because before I knew if I were pregnant or not, I'd wonder (for instance) if I should take Advil for a headache, or take regular strength Tylenol just in case. It got to the point that I acted like I was pregnant (eating, drinking, meds) just so I didn't drive myself crazy wondering and hoping constantly, then being crushed every month.

I hope some of this isn't in the "too much information" category--sorry if it is!

When I did get pregnant, we'd just started fertility testing. I'd had the bloodwork to tell if I ovulated (supposedly the OTC ovulation predictors aren't all that reliable), and my hubby was supposed to go in for a sperm count, but I got pregnant before that happened! I was taking my temperature every morning before getting out of bed, and marking down when we had sex, when I got my period, etc. We had sex pretty regularly--at least every 2-3 days--but it was never "scheduled". I think that causes a lot of stress so I tried to avoid that. I'd heard that a pillow under your hips afterwards to tip your pelvis up helps, but whether it's just for a tipped uterus or not I don't know. I did that sometimes, but not every time.

Be careful with fertility medications--a lot of times, that's how the huge number of babies in a pregnancy happens.

I know how hard it is, but truly try to relax and just let it happen. If you tense up all the time, wondering "is this it???" you'll be so stressed you'll be miserable. You'll be blessed with another child when the time is right!

Good luck!

[palomino]

Enjoying the sex is a huge part of getting prego IMO.

[MyMia]

Sorry to ask, but does it matter which way? Like face up or down? :doh:

You lie on your back with your hips up a little.

[natisha]

Buy something really expensive that you couldn't afford if you had another child. Works for my friends.

[shewasmyshadow]

First, let me say my sister was told there was no way she could get pregnant naturally. Four pregnancies (all natural) later, I'd say the doctors aren't always right!

It took me a year and a half to get pregnant with Nathaniel, and almost a year with Adeline. It is very hard, especially because before I knew if I were pregnant or not, I'd wonder (for instance) if I should take Advil for a headache, or take regular strength Tylenol just in case. It got to the point that I acted like I was pregnant (eating, drinking, meds) just so I didn't drive myself crazy wondering and hoping constantly, then being crushed every month.

I hope some of this isn't in the "too much information" category--sorry if it is!

When I did get pregnant, we'd just started fertility testing. I'd had the bloodwork to tell if I ovulated (supposedly the OTC ovulation predictors aren't all that reliable), and my hubby was supposed to go in for a sperm count, but I got pregnant before that happened! I was taking my temperature every morning before getting out of bed, and marking down when we had sex, when I got my period, etc. We had sex pretty regularly--at least every 2-3 days--but it was never "scheduled". I think that causes a lot of stress so I tried to avoid that. I'd heard that a pillow under your hips afterwards to tip your pelvis up helps, but whether it's just for a tipped uterus or not I don't know. I did that sometimes, but not every time.

Be careful with fertility medications--a lot of times, that's how the huge number of babies in a pregnancy happens.

I know how hard it is, but truly try to relax and just let it happen. If you tense up all the time, wondering "is this it???" you'll be so stressed you'll be miserable. You'll be blessed with another child when the time is right!

Good luck!

Good information. Not too much TMI for me, but then I'm not too shy about this type of thing. ;)

I would say I'm stressed, but not worried. It's just hard to wait. I know I prayed a lot when we were trying for Ethan. I told God I wanted a child and if this child was the only one, then I would still be thankful! That's still true. I am totally satisfied with my beautiful child. If He blesses again, then that would be wonderful, but if He chooses not to, then I would still praise Him. :)

[BlaiseGlaze]

I too am trying, but i specifically want to get preg in feb... I too have a previous child, but not with current husband. Best of luck to both our families!!

[lovesfortune]

Egg white consistency is what you are wanting. so I would be trying now. Some say try every other day, some say every day. But you know the life of the sperm, etc. But I would definitely be trying with the egg white CM.

[lovesfortune]

Also, I have mitlesmirtz.

I have never heard of this before, what is it?

[JennyandJosey]

I have never heard of this before, what is it?

mittelschmertz is the pain you get when you're ovulating. I get these too, the ovaries hurt.

We tried for 2 years before conceiving my second daughter. We had a miscarriage a year into it. It was one of the most stressful things I've ever gone through. I did all the temperature taking and ovulation predictor kits and all that stuff. I don't really know if anything was wrong or we just had bad luck. I know that taking up to a year can be normal too.

You could find a fertility forum. Most times they have lots of good info and support there. Also, at a year you could visit a doctor if you want to get things rolling in that direction. It depends there on how much you want to stress about it at this point.

I feel for you. I know how hard it is. God taught me a lot about patience and peace during that time. It was so hard but I actually wouldn't change it now because of how I changed and grew spiritually.

[offgridgirl]

I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for ya!
This is the best time to try as the energy is very positive until Jan 14th.

[TLC97]

There are some great fertility forums that are supportive and while I find women catty- the forums were helpful and extremely supportive-very welcoming too.

Chart-check your CM- take a prenatal-take a good folic acid-low amount of caffine and ENJOY the sex.

That is what worked for me. BUT my problem was not getting preggers is was staying that way past 4-6 weeks.

And tossing a pillow under your hiney with your pubic bone headed skywards for a few minutes works good. Even primrose oil (pill/capsule form) softens your cerix-works good for allowing sperm to enter when you conceive and when you want to actually have the baby works good at getting things started.

Blood pressure up and 99% of all lubes not good for trying to conceive.

Sorry this is so all over the place, I am just typing it as it comes to mind.

Good Luck and HAVE FUN TRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shewasmyshadow]

Yes, I'm giving up caffeine for new years. Also, just trying to change my eating habits. I'm taking a prenatal and having hubby take vit C. I read vit C brings sperm count up like 130%!!

[TLC97]

GOOD, GOOD!!!!
Don't forget the folic acid!!!!!!!
Yep, forgot about the vit. C, but that works good too.

Also, hubby should watch his caff. intake-he doesn't have to eliminate it, but it should not be too high.

You can have 1-2 cups of coffee a day MAX!!!

[mandisue]

They also say to help the hubs that men shouldnt wear tighty whiteys as it constricts them, sorry if thats TMI, lol.

Docs say to try as much as possible keeps the swimmers going and reproducing.

[shewasmyshadow]

I'm taking a prenatal vitamin. It says it has folic acid. Is that good enough?

[shewasmyshadow]

GOOD, GOOD!!!!
Don't forget the folic acid!!!!!!!
Yep, forgot about the vit. C, but that works good too.

Also, hubby should watch his caff. intake-he doesn't have to eliminate it, but it should not be too high.

You can have 1-2 cups of coffee a day MAX!!!

He doesn't wear *those* kind of undies. He wears the boxer-briefs. I'll have to check how tight they are. :doh::o

[mandisue]

He doesn't wear *those* kind of undies. He wears the boxer-briefs. I'll have to check how tight they are. :doh::o



LOL Be careful!! He may want to know why women on the forum are discussing his undergarmets.....:eek:

[TLC97]

I always took an extra folic acid, I am just extra cautious with that type of stuff.

If he is wearing boxers good, and he should go commando at night to let things, ummm, cool down there.

[shewasmyshadow]

And make sure he never reads this thread. :D :innocent:

[BlaiseGlaze]

this is a very great thread!
:D
hubby wears briefs, not the tighty whiteys but briefs none the less, he will not give on that. we've discussed it.

[shewasmyshadow]

Oh, I hate briefs! :D I like boxers, but hubby likes his support. :rolleyes:

[Horseaholic]

Just to add to the enjoy part---they also say you're more likely to conceive when you have an orgasm.

[CaddoCinnamon]

It took me a very long time to get pregnant with my first one. I had four miscarriages before that. I was trying to get pregnant but was so stressed out because of it that I didn't conceive. God blessed me with 2 beautiful boys. Stress can cause you to not get pregnant or even cause you to lost the fetus in the first month of gestation. With the four miscarriages that I had I would find out in within a week I would lose the baby. It didn't help that I have endometriosis as well. This caused a lot of my problems with the miscarriages. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you will get pregnant again.

[shewasmyshadow]

Just to add to the enjoy part---they also say you're more likely to conceive when you have an orgasm.

No problems there! ;) My husband and I enjoy each other very much. :D

[BlaiseGlaze]

No problems there! ;) My husband and I enjoy each other very much. :D
yeah ditto that ;)

[carla]

Buy something really expensive that you couldn't afford if you had another child. Works for my friends.

:hysterical: :hysterical: Best advice yet! :p

[carla]

And good luck, SWMS! You're getting great advice, it seems. :)

[Fork]

Seems to me it usually happens most often when it's unexpected. :p I agree! Go on vacation, relax, and don't stress too hard.

[Tatesgram]

A lot of women I know have gotten pregnant right after they reach their ideal weight and fit into those skinny jeans, :).

And what was the old joke that went around about fooling around in the back seat working for a lot of high school girls? j/k

The only advise I can give you is to stop stressing. It seems your doing everything else, so just relax and enjoy being with your husband.

Good luck.

[spotsmom]

Give away baby things- it worked both times for us ;)

[Fork]

Give away baby things- it worked both times for us ;)Good timing there! :p

[Petra]

Hmmm, I've been trying close to 6 years now. Have no luck. Went to the doctor and he suggested not having any sex from beginning of my period until the day of ovulation. It's suppopsed to build up the sperm count.
I cannot tell if it works though ...hubby thinks it's too long of a wait.
I wish you the best of luck though! :)

[carla]

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but a great book to get your hands on is Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler, MPH. This book is terrific whether you're wanting to achieve- OR (naturally) prevent- pregnancy, or if you just want to become better-educated on your reproductive health. I definitely recommend it!

Amazon.com: Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (9780060881900): Toni Weschler: Books

[oursarge]

I spent my whole reproductive yrs avoiding having kids so I'm no help except I know what worked with my cousin. This sounds weird but do you break out anywhere on your hands etc? My cousin had her first baby kind of fast, maybe tried for a yr or a little more but tried for 6 yrs for the 2nd. She always got a rash on her hands during certain times of the month [I'm not sure what times just knew she got a rash because it was very annoying to her and she'd mention it to me quite a few times asking if I got it since so often we get the same medical problems which is also so strange.] she asked her Dr about it and he sort of blew it off over and over again. She went to another Dr [a female] and just happened to mention the rash to her. The Dr knew right away what it was, she told her that the rash was coming from a lack of a certain hormone which had to do with fertility and gave her cream for the rash which also helped the hormones I guess. I am so not good at explaining things especially since the "baby" is now 13 and I'm sure I'm forgetting something. I just know she started putting the cream on the rash and baby #2 was expected soon after.

My whole family on both my mother and father' side has fertility problems. I'll just go into my father's side since that's boring enough problably but my mother's side is basically the same. I am an only child because of problems but my mother's problems were not the same, she could have the babies but they wouldn't survive. I am the only one out of 3. One died at birth, I almost died, then the 3rd died before birth.

My grandmother popped out 9 kids, 6 of them being 11 months apart but her daughters all had problems having babies. Every single girl my grandmother gave birth to had fertility issues. I find that very odd. They all eventually had at least one baby but most tried for a long time and it usually happened when least expected. The female grandchildren of my grandmother more often than not had the same problems, tried and tried and with some it worked, some it didn't. I have another cousin trying for yrs for a 3rd baby and they've given up and are happy with the 2 they had that they had to wait so long for. She had so many problems just having 2 who she loves more than life. They are the best parents but it's just not happening for that 3rd. Alot of us don't have kids, two of us by choice the others because it's not happening. The great grandchildren of my grandmother are not having issues it seems, they are popping them out like rabbits. One is just like my grandmother, she's on her 3rd in 3 years.

Anyway to all of those who are trying good luck, hope it happens for you. I remember everyone always told my aunts to relax and it'll happen, only one ever went to a Dr and found out it actually wasn't her as much as my uncle. He got his issue fixed and they had 3 but all the others had real issues. One aunt was like my mother, she would have had 11 kids if they all "took" but she had 2 great ones after yrs and yrs of fighting to have them. There was alot of grief loosing 9, some after birth. I had one aunt die in childbirth after trying so hard to have kids,her twins died with her. All of this is probably why I never wanted to even try for kids. This is like a therapy session when all's I wanted to do was ask about the rash but I do know there are so many people with the same problems. A fertility group might help since so many are where you are now.

If your son is the only one you have don't think being an only child is bad. I loved it, it's now I wish I had siblings because my parents are aging and we want to move away but can't because I won't be so far from them because I love them too much to go away and worry about something happening to them. We're 2 hrs now and that's too long. I want to move up there but can't afford it, it's a very expensive area. Other than this old age thing I always loved being an only child and I guess I had enough cousins and an uncle only 4 yrs older than me so I never felt I didn't have anyone. I like my alone time too, there are alot of benefits of an only child. Not saying people should not have more than one but sometimes people think it's horrible for an only child and I always wondered why they think that because I had the best childhood any kid could have. The only thing I didn't have is a horse and now that I'm an adult I realize my parents couldn't afford it but back then I just thought they didn't want me to have one. My mother and I have alot of issues but I still wouldn't trade her for anything, I have wonderful parents and I dread the day I don't have them, they are aging fast and I hate it. GOOD LUCK and I'll shut up now!

[shewasmyshadow]

Hmmm, I've been trying close to 6 years now. Have no luck. Went to the doctor and he suggested not having any sex from beginning of my period until the day of ovulation. It's suppopsed to build up the sperm count.
I cannot tell if it works though ...hubby thinks it's too long of a wait.
I wish you the best of luck though! :)

You don't have to do that. Just make him take Vitamin C everyday and don't have sex for at least one day before ovulation. Vitamin C raises sperm count something like 120%!!! Oh and if you use lube, then use Pre-Seed. Other lubes block sperm.

Okay, I didn't mean to say the doc didn't know what he was talking about. Sorry. I just meant that the vit C might help so you didn't have to do it that drastically.

[shewasmyshadow]

I spent my whole reproductive yrs avoiding having kids so I'm no help except I know what worked with my cousin. This sounds weird but do you break out anywhere on your hands etc? My cousin had her first baby kind of fast, maybe tried for a yr or a little more but tried for 6 yrs for the 2nd. She always got a rash on her hands during certain times of the month [I'm not sure what times just knew she got a rash because it was very annoying to her and she'd mention it to me quite a few times asking if I got it since so often we get the same medical problems which is also so strange.] she asked her Dr about it and he sort of blew it off over and over again. She went to another Dr [a female] and just happened to mention the rash to her. The Dr knew right away what it was, she told her that the rash was coming from a lack of a certain hormone which had to do with fertility and gave her cream for the rash which also helped the hormones I guess. I am so not good at explaining things especially since the "baby" is now 13 and I'm sure I'm forgetting something. I just know she started putting the cream on the rash and baby #2 was expected soon after.

My whole family on both my mother and father' side has fertility problems. I'll just go into my father's side since that's boring enough problably but my mother's side is basically the same. I am an only child because of problems but my mother's problems were not the same, she could have the babies but they wouldn't survive. I am the only one out of 3. One died at birth, I almost died, then the 3rd died before birth.

My grandmother popped out 9 kids, 6 of them being 11 months apart but her daughters all had problems having babies. Every single girl my grandmother gave birth to had fertility issues. I find that very odd. They all eventually had at least one baby but most tried for a long time and it usually happened when least expected. The female grandchildren of my grandmother more often than not had the same problems, tried and tried and with some it worked, some it didn't. I have another cousin trying for yrs for a 3rd baby and they've given up and are happy with the 2 they had that they had to wait so long for. She had so many problems just having 2 who she loves more than life. They are the best parents but it's just not happening for that 3rd. Alot of us don't have kids, two of us by choice the others because it's not happening. The great grandchildren of my grandmother are not having issues it seems, they are popping them out like rabbits. One is just like my grandmother, she's on her 3rd in 3 years.

Anyway to all of those who are trying good luck, hope it happens for you. I remember everyone always told my aunts to relax and it'll happen, only one ever went to a Dr and found out it actually wasn't her as much as my uncle. He got his issue fixed and they had 3 but all the others had real issues. One aunt was like my mother, she would have had 11 kids if they all "took" but she had 2 great ones after yrs and yrs of fighting to have them. There was alot of grief loosing 9, some after birth. I had one aunt die in childbirth after trying so hard to have kids,her twins died with her. All of this is probably why I never wanted to even try for kids. This is like a therapy session when all's I wanted to do was ask about the rash but I do know there are so many people with the same problems. A fertility group might help since so many are where you are now.

If your son is the only one you have don't think being an only child is bad. I loved it, it's now I wish I had siblings because my parents are aging and we want to move away but can't because I won't be so far from them because I love them too much to go away and worry about something happening to them. We're 2 hrs now and that's too long. I want to move up there but can't afford it, it's a very expensive area. Other than this old age thing I always loved being an only child and I guess I had enough cousins and an uncle only 4 yrs older than me so I never felt I didn't have anyone. I like my alone time too, there are alot of benefits of an only child. Not saying people should not have more than one but sometimes people think it's horrible for an only child and I always wondered why they think that because I had the best childhood any kid could have. The only thing I didn't have is a horse and now that I'm an adult I realize my parents couldn't afford it but back then I just thought they didn't want me to have one. My mother and I have alot of issues but I still wouldn't trade her for anything, I have wonderful parents and I dread the day I don't have them, they are aging fast and I hate it. GOOD LUCK and I'll shut up now!

Well, I decided no more guessing. I'm going to get a fertility consult with a doctor next Thursday. I did have pre-clamsia with Ethan and he came a month early. Also, with him I had jaundice myself several times in the weeks before he was born. Man, did that ITCH!!! Anyway, there were enough weird things that happened when I was pregnant or delivering that it could have an effect on this next one, I guess...

[BlaiseGlaze]

Do I win anything for getting pregnant first??
:D
:D