What to do with Cloe...

[cloedoll]

So I guess I just need someplace to get everything out.

As you guys know, my parents are separated (not divorced yet, but that's because they have to be physically separated for x amount of time in order to get a divorce according to the state of Pennsylvania) - my dad is living in Hawai'i, I'm living with my mom and sister in Pennsylvania.

Originally I was considering moving to Hawai'i with my dad, but I decided I didn't want to, so I'll be staying with my mom. Problem is, I have no idea where my mom wants to live! One day she tells me she's putting the house up for sale in the summer, the next she's like, well I'm happy with where things are going with my boyfriend so I don't want to move away. This isn't very helpful for me because I have to figure out Cloe, I don't want my mom deciding one day, "oh, lets move out of this house" and then have to rush to figure out what to do with Cloe (yeah I know we would still have to actually SELL the house, but still). So that's why I have been thinking putting Cloe up for sale in the beginning of the summer is the best idea, so I know she has a good home...but then I know I'll be PISSED if I eventually end up in a situation where I would've been able to keep her. If that makes sense.

Also, if anyone is wondering, Taylor can't take her unfortunately, but her trainer said she's willing to help and may take her or find her a home in Florida.

So of course I REALLY want to keep my pony, I love her and thought I'd have her forever. And sometimes I think, whatever, just make it work. But then I have to think realistically and realistically, I'm going to be a senior next year and then starting my own life...having a horse is going to make that ten million times more complicated. NOT saying she isn't worth it, but it would kill me if I couldn't afford her or give her the time she deserves and then her be the one suffering.

So, ugh, I just don't know what to do at this point. Contact Taylor's trainer and get that ball rolling, keep Cloe and somehow, miraculously, make things work, sell Cloe somewhere around here or what. It's driving me crazy, though. >.<

[cloedoll]

Oh and I forgot to mention, I miss you guys!!! I hope everyone and their ponies are well. <3

[WashingtonBay]

Sorry life is so complicated for you. It's a real bummer.

It's good to have some options thought through, but don't do anything you can't undo, yet.

And we miss you too!

[vicklynn]

Aw gesh hon. I dont know what to tell ya, but I sure wouldnt want to be in your shoes right now.
((HUGS))

[AppyLover]

If I may? Keep her untill you know for a FACT what is going on. If you truly want to keep her trust me you will find a way to make it work. Have you talked to your mom yet about how you feel about Cloe? What does she think you should do?

[Fjords <3]

Oh no Caity! I'm so sorry all this is happening. I know how hard it is to make a decision about selling a horse. I hope that you're able to keep Cloe or find a situation that could some day allow you to get her back. That was always my plan with Flash, but that didn't work out so well :/ It's good to hear from you though :) We miss you around here. Fingers crossed that everything works out well!

ETA: It's too bad we're far apart, I would keep her for you until you had things worked out. She's one of my favorite forum horses :)

[Gypsy Rose]

If I may? Keep her untill you know for a FACT what is going on. If you truly want to keep her trust me you will find a way to make it work. Have you talked to your mom yet about how you feel about Cloe? What does she think you should do?


I agree with this, though I would find out exactly how much time you know you're going to have for sure to make a decision.

We all miss you around here, Caitlin, and wish you'd pop in more often just to say hi once in a while, and show off Cloe pics!:)

[PatriotsDreamer]

if you truly want to keep her, you can find a way. i would keep her for SURE until you know 100% what you want, trust me on this one. you CAN find a way to keep her, not saying it will be easy but its doable, i am doing so with dreamer right now... found a way to keep him no matter what, he is away from me for a short period(until mayish) but he WILL be with me forever. end of story. no questions asked

[AUEquine]

I think working out a deal with the trainer, or somewhere else to set up a possible lease program would be great! Could she be a lesson horse (at a very good barn only)? If you could lease her out to someone, or a barn that way you aren't permenantly loseing her, but could have a stable plan for her for the next few years. Then when you're out on your own, you can decide if you think you can handle having her back, or if you need to go on a sell her.
Of course finding this arrangement is tough. But you seem like you have the time to try to get it set up and work out all the loose ends.

I did this for a friend of mine. She wen't through some really tough times, 2 bad marriages and her father's death. Actually the second marriage ended because her husband felt she was spending too much time with her father who was given six months to live. So she decided to go off to colorado and work at a resort for a while and just leave her life behind. So I took her horse on a free lease while she was gone. I was in high school at the time, and didn't have my own horse so it was great for me, and she didn't have to worry about selling her horse. When she came back a year or so later I gave her back the horse. It was really a great situation all around.

ETA: my dad is living in Hawai'i, I'm living with my mom and sister in Pennsylvania.

Well when they take a separation, they take a separation.
Sorry, not trying to make light of your parent's divorce.

[Equine_Woman]

I was going to say the same thing as others. If it comes down to needing to move her fast I'm sure we could find a forumer who could 'foster' her until either you found a buyer you were happy with or you moved out and have your own place. She'd be welcome here in Texas at my place. (which is really far from you but just so you know. )

[natisha]

Couldn't you board her wherever you may be living? There are nice places all over.
I think you're too young to spend the rest of your life thinking, 'if only' or 'I wonder what...'
I saddens me that so many young people are forced to make these kind of decisions.

[zoel_222]

I was going to say the same thing as others. If it comes down to needing to move her fast I'm sure we could find a forumer who could 'foster' her until either you found a buyer you were happy with or you moved out and have your own place. She'd be welcome here in Texas at my place. (which is really far from you but just so you know. )

She'd be welcome here, too.

I agree with the others, don't do anything until you KNOW for a FACT that you'll have to sell her. We all know how much you love her and I'm sure you'd really regret selling her if it turned out you'd be able to keep her.

[cloedoll]

WashingtonBay - - Hah, and this is only the tip of the iceberg to my life atm. >.< Thanks for replying, all replies are helpful. :)

Vicky - - **hugs** thanks (:

AppyLover - - Of course you may! I appreciate all input. I have talked to my mom about it, she said she would never abandon Cloe, but she also keeps asking me, "so, know what you want to do with Cloe?" And it just feels like she's pushing me to sell her. I know it would make her life easier. =/

Fjords<3 - - Thanks so much! And ah, that would be awesome if you could take her...darn distance.

Gypsy - - I will try & stop in more! Promise!

Patriotsdreamer - - You are probably right...I dunno, it just seems like it will be so hard when everything is so uncertain and I'm the child in the situation.

AUEquine - - I would love to set up something like that, but there really aren't that many barns nearby me, but I could look into it more. I'm sorry about your friend's situation, but that was awesome of you to help her out! =) And yeah, haha...he got stationed there because he's in the Navy.

Equine_Woman - - Thank you so much! That would be kinda neat! She'd love your ponies. :D

[cloedoll]

natisha - - I could probably, but I just wish I knew where we would be living. It does really suck...=(

Zoey - - Thank you for the offer! Why can't you be closer? :( Hah...you guys are probably right, I know I'd regret it.

[gaited07]

I'm really sorry to hear of your situation and the decisions that must be made in the near future.

I hope you find a solution to keep your precious Choe. I know that you love her much and will find a way to make things work for the best.

[Horseaholic]

Oy. :( did u ever get my fb message reply??

[natisha]

Your Mom asked what you want to do, tell her you want to keep her. That way your Mom will have to take Cloe into consideration no matter what her plans are. Even if she wants to move somewhere else it will take some time, time enough for you to find a boarding place to your liking.
Teenage girls have more power than they realize, especially in a divorce situation.

[PatriotsDreamer]

trust me i know its hard. my parents help close to zero percent with Dreamer( and rescues i take on). i have paid every cent of that horse out of my own pocket except for when the forum helped me out with hay( which im ever so thankful for) after my accident. right now i am away from dreamer ( in idaho and he is staying with gemsmom in illinois). i think about him everyday, not a day goes by that i have not. im literally counting down the days till i get to see him next. being so far away from him for so long has done nothing but proven to me that no matter what i could never get rid of that horse, sometimes it takes something like that to realize it. its not easy at all, especially finanically but there are some barns where you can work off your board or take care of her yourself to make your board cheaper, you may not get to buy new items for her, and she may not have the most fashionable tack, you will have to cut corners on your end( buy cheaper stuff or do with out it((nonhorse related)) but in the end, the only thing that matters, is that she is with you still. think how much she would miss you if you sold her....

[cloedoll]

gaited - - thank you! :)

Michellllly - - No I did not? Kinda strange...I just thought you've been busy w/ Prado and didn't have to time to respond and I didn't wanna bug you because horseys are always top priority! xD

natisha - - I will do that...I'm just worried she'll guilt me into selling her. Ya know?

Patriotsdreamer - - You love Dreamer so much! You are a great mom to him! I know I'd miss her like CRAZY. Like tonight when I was feeding her and loving on her, I don't want that taken away everrr. Selling Keidas was hard enough.

[natisha]

What do you have to feel guilty about? You did nothing wrong. You aren't responsible for your family's change in circumstances.
Guilt comes in many colors, only you can pick which color to live with.

[Suzi]

My heart jumped when I read the title of your thread. I commmned you for putting Chloe first, but I would wait on listing her for sale just yet. Everyone has given you great advice. You have the advantage of time to find a plan if it becomes impossible to keep her. I think the possible of a lease somewhere is your best bet. The forum stretches all over the country, and Chloe is sort of like our "pet favorite" ( no offense Bay, we love you too) and perhaps we can come up with someone to take her and help with getting her there.

The next couple of years of your life are going to be topsy turvey, and having Chloe as your anchor will become even more important.

[Arrow]

I was going to say the same thing as others. If it comes down to needing to move her fast I'm sure we could find a forumer who could 'foster' her until either you found a buyer you were happy with or you moved out and have your own place.

Ditto--there's no need to make irrevocable decisions this week.

Sorry that life's so complicated right now--we miss you, and we're thinking about you!

[FatSpottedAppy]

I wish i could foster her.. if worse comes to worse I will ask my Mom if you're interested. We're not too far away..

[Dakota Sunrise]

Awe, Caitlin, I'm really sorry you're going through all this.:( I wish there was something I could do, like offer to keep Cloe for you as a backup plan in case you do have to sell her. But unfortunately I can't have another horse, at least not right now.:(

I know whatever you decide will be what's best for Cloe. You have always been amazing at putting your horses first and thinking of their needs before your own. But you all ready had to go through this with Keidas and I really hate to see you have to do it again with Cloe. :(

My opinion on this is probably not going to be overly helpful because I have this insanely fierce determination about keeping my horses and could just never sell them. But I have the luxery of being able to be that way. I'm not in your shoes.

I'm thinking you're sixteen now, right? Do you have a job, and if not, is there anyway for you to get one? We haven't talked in a while so I'm not sure what all is going on in your life right now and also how your health issues are. I'm just thinking maybe if you were paying for Cloe yourself your mom couldn't try to make you feel guilty about keeping her.
Like, just for a kind of example, there is no way my parents could afford a horse, let alone two. But since I pay and care for them myself, they don't have to worry about it and don't have to spend any money out of their own pockets to support them.
Of course if you mom does decide to move you still have the problem of where Cloe will live even if you are paying for her yourself. But there are still ways to make that work probably. Boarding of course, for one. Maybe the barn could even use her for lessons or you could work there as a stable hand kinda sorta to help pay for her board. Just an idea.

Leasing her out might not be a bad idea either. That way you'll know where she is, who's she with, and how she's being taken care of. Depending on the distance you could maybe go visit her, and if your situation changes and you find that you can have a horse again you can get her back. And if the opposit happens and you think you can't handle a horse when you're out on your own, then you could always sell her then. I just wouldn't do it now if I were you, since you don't for sure what your mom is planning. But it is great that you're looking at your options now and making a plan so Cloe will be taken care no matter what happens.

I'm sure absolutely none of that helped, and everybody else probably told you all that already anyway. But I'm here if you want to talk. Pm, AIM, or you have my cell #. I'm sorry you're going through all this and having to make this decision. ((((Hugs)))

[Horseaholic]

I bbmed you. I was wondering why you never responded! Lol

[WP~Paint]

i was kind of in a similar situation last year. my ex fiance eas helping me pay for Yogi since im in college and dont make much....well we broke up, and i almost sold him.,.but in the end i found someone to lease him and its working out great. he has a good home, is getting worked and plenty of attention and after i graduate and get land of my own, i can move him. i agree completely with everyone else, if you want to keep her, you will find a way. it was hard for me, but im so thankful it worked out the way it did. good luck gurl and i hope you find a solution that works for both of you!

[Gypsy Rose]

If all else fails, and you have to at least lease her out, I'm sure there are many forum members that would be willing to take her. As for travel, so long as she's up to distance, why not have a horse train like the puppy train, and like what Vicky and Lisakaye are doing? That way, you would always be able to have Cloe back as soon as you can find a way.

I'd really like to see you be able to keep her with you, though. Just because your parents are divorcing doesn't mean you should have to give up your horse.

[farmers_wife]

Leasing would be a nice thing for you. I have shewasmyshadows horse and we have an awsome deal. If I needed another horse I would concider her but too far away. Good luck and I know you are doing what is best for both of you.

[moka]

Caitlin, I would always have some space for Cloe for a while. So hang on to Cloe as long as you can. I can take her in short notice - not a problem.
Good luck with whatever happens.

[MyMia]

Good luck with Cloe and your situation! Leasing her is a good idea for the reasons everyone has said. Selling is so final!

If you get desperate for a place to keep her, I have an extra stall, and Charlie would love the company. NH isn't that far away!

[lovesfortune]

What about free leasing her to someone so that you do have the option of getting her back if you decided to down the line?

[allie0]

Dayumm Caitlin if you needed a home I would take her in a flash.. too bad im stuck in IRELAND :(
Keep a hold on her! Maybe you could reduce costs, get cheaper bedding.. I dunno Caity =/

[GrungeEquestrian]

Wow, that sucks Caitlin, I'm sorry you are in this situation. If I was in your shoes I would do everything in my power to make it work and keep her. Like some other people have said, I would be happy to foster her for you until you got back on your feet. I'm all the way in Illinois but she would be welcome.

[NE_paint]

I'm sorry to hear that Cloedoll. :( I'm actually in the process of selling my first horse- a horse I thought I could never part with. I understand. Hope it turns out for the best. Keep your chin up. I know you'll find Cloe a good home.

[valleyrider]

Cloe... :grouphug:Sorry your parents are putting you in this stressful situation. I agree with Natisha,, Just because they can't get along should not mean you have to sell your horse. Do not feel guilty,, you did nothing wrong. You need to let your Mom know how much she means to you and where you go so will she. It is good to know there are many here willing to help you IF you have to find a temporary home for her till you can be together again.