Need advise on how to deal with this...

[luv4chance]

A couple of weeks ago, I bought myself a few shirts at Goody's. Two of the shirts, I decided to take back. One of the shirts, still had tags on them. I laid it on my chest of drawers. A couple of days went by b4 I got around to taking them back & when I went to get the shirt w/ the tags on it, it wasn't there. Questioning myself, I just took back onr of the shirts.

This morning I go in stepdaughters room and there was the shirt...underneath other clothes, tags off it of, already washed & dried and in NO condition to exchange it. I got digging thru all her clothes that are in her closet floor & I find my socks, my underwear, and a few more of my shirts....I am so mad. New shirts that I just bought! UGH!

Now, I do not mind her wearing my clothes. IF...she wud have asked me, I wud have told her YES....but now I've found several of my clothes in her closet, obviously hidden, and her no mentioning to me she was wearing them........ I am NOT going to let her wear my clothes again until I can trust her.

[vicklynn]

How old is she? Does she get an allowance? Does she come to you or her dad for money for things?
Im thinking that she needs a good talking to, and from her dad too. Time to stop letting her wear your things, even if she asks. She is showing full disrespect for you. Your husband needs to put a stop to this if you cant.
This needs to be nipped in the butt.

[Kaitlyn]

I woulda got my butt smacked. Haha. I'd never hear the end of it from my mom and my cell phone and computer would be taken away I'm sure. Thankfully my mom and I don't wear the same size at all.

[cowgirlup@idaho]

How old is she, does she live with you, how long has she lived in your home, does she go visit mom?
This is a boundary issue and the girl either doesn't respect boundaries, or she doesn't respect you (maybe both). It's important to have dad on board with you, I would address it in a matter of fact manner with dad present supporting you. Lay out your expectations, your boundaries concerning your possessions and that her behavior is unacceptable. You can have a consequence that will be delivered/earned if she crosses your boundaries again but she needs to know what that consequence is before hand. Then you need to have dad behind you saying, "yeah, what she said."
Hopefully this will end it.

[luv4chance]

SD is 14 years old and this behavior has just recently started. SD lives w/ me and her father and has for almost 6 years now. Bio-mom is very unstable but right now bio-mom is the SUPER PARENT cuz she's letting SD do whatever she wants & encouraging bad behavior. SD doesn't respect me nor her father. She left the house yesterday, went running around w/ a friend w/o asking her father. Dad is on board w/ this and we're questioning WHY all of a sudden the 360 degree turn around w/ her. She's getting a talking too this evening and if she was my kid I wud ground her until she turned 21. But she isn't mine and I cannot do any of the discipline. Since this has happened (with my clothes & all), She will not be allowed to use anything of mine.....which includes saddle, bridle, blanket, reins, etc. For the past 2-3 weeks, she's used my old saddle, my old headstall, my old reins on her horse. She asked and that was Ok but w/ this stunt that she pulled..... I think she'll have to start using her own stuff that we bought for her instead of my stuff until she learns to respect us a bit more. STILL PISSED OFF!!!

Yes, she visits her mother every other weekend and on Tues & Thurs evenings. Bio-Mom ONLY has visitations!!!!!

[Mercury]

Have you considered maybe she wants to be more like you? Just playing possible other end in her mind. Maybe she DOES respect you and feels that by using your things she is being like you. She could see you as a role model. There were some young girls at the barn I used to work at and they worshipped me and tried to get the exact same clothes I had. Just a thought...

[vicklynn]

Excuse me, YOU are the parent in the house, she DOES have to listen to you.
I hate that crapola people try to toss out there.

I dont have to listen to you, your NOT my parent...BS.
You live in my home, under my roof, you damn well better follow the rules set here.

I am glad your hubby is on board with you.

[Ryderd65]

I empathize- I was in a very similar situation with Bio mom sabotaging our attempts to parent my youngest stepdaughter. Unfortunately, her actions ended up hurting her daughter the most.

I agree that your husband must be on board with this and the 3 of you should have a talk. Boundaries set and consequences explained. Bio Mom does NOT get a say in how you run your household.

If it continues and her actions become more harmful to your stepdaughter, I'd find a social worker or counselor fast. Participate in family counseling sessions if needed- establish that you are WILLING to work with your stepdaughter. It will help you get through these situations, and if a custody battle ever comes up, you could end up with mandatory counseling anyway.

14 is a really tough age, especially for girls and stepmoms often take a lot of crap at their own expense. Hang in there, you're doing a good thing by setting limits for her.

[luv4chance]

Hadn't really thought that MAYBE she wanted to be like me....but that is a thought.

Her recent behavior...not respecting me nor her father, is just as recent. B4 the dreaded teenage years, she was almost a perfect child. She knew her Mom wasn't the most stable person in the world but thought the world of me and her father. Now that we are trying to enforce RULES & BOUNDARIES, all that respect & love has flown out the door. (sigh)

I firmly believe w/ VL... live in my house, go by my rules.

[TheBadLands]

I have to agree with vicki..

and even if she is trying to be like you.. she needs to understand she is stealing.

[luv4chance]

:(I totally agree that she needs to understand what she did was "stealing." In my eyes, THAT is what she did. She stole from me; trying to hide it b/c she didn't bother to tell me she took 2 pairs of my socks (no big deal), my underwear (?????), 4-5 shirts... 2 of which were brand new...1 STILL had tags on them...that she DELIBERATELY took the tags off of... AND DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT!!!

For the past couple months, since Aug, I found out SD was hanging w/ some kids she wasn't allowed to hang with. Told her if she wanted to continue to keep Charlie (her horse) she needed to make better decisions. All that blew up; I told her Dad and things have NOT been the same between me & her since. I stopped giving her allowance b/c if she doesn't want to making ANY decisions about HER life, then I'm not going to make any POSITIVE decisions about her life. Me, giving her allowance was my deal just so she cud have money to run around on. IMO, I think she's decided to take my clothes as an "allowance" type thing to get even.... "She's not giving me an allowance, so I'll just take her new clothes." I may be totally off here, but this 14 yo isn't a typical 14 yo. She's more along the lines of an 18, 19 year old. She IS very street smart, knows how to play people to get things her way, and will not tell the truth even if I had proof in my hand. I have money in my closet (saving up for a new saddle)... if she "steals" my clothes, who's to say she's going to steal money..... where wud it stop? This is SERIOUS to me.... Needless to say, I have moved my money stash and hide it somewhere else.

If she wants to be like me..... That's nice but there's also a better way to go about it. There are always consequences for your actions and b/c of what she's done she will not be allowed to use anything else of mine for awhile.

My SD & I had a wonderful relationship. We were very close. I treated her as if she was my own. When my daughter needed or wanted something, I never BOUGHT my daughter something w/o buying my SD something. If I took my daughter out to eat, I then turned around & took SD out to eat. If I bought myself something, I wud normally buy her something too. We went on rides together; just to two of us.....spent ALOT of time together messing w/ the horses. Even b4 the horses, we were very close. She wud tell me things she wudn't tell her father. She wud talk to me about her Mom's crazy, wreckless behavior & how it made her mad............. all that's changed now w/ her becoming a teenager and her mother encouraging bad behavior. If things continue to get worse, Dad will try to feel full custody & request supervised visits. It's also been told "Parties" are happening at her mother's house doing lord knows what.....drinking, drugging etc.... the drugging wud explain the drastic change in her behavior.

[cowgirlup@idaho]

It sounds like you have a good handle on the situation and dad is on your side. 6mos is not very long, 14yrs is a terrible age, bio-mom is unreliable in all ways (or the court wouldn't have put her with dad) and if mom has been so unreliable, if the sd has had a disappointing life w/mom, after 6mos of a stable life and security, maybe she's afraid that will fly out the window too. Maybe she's pushing the envelope to see how far or how much it takes before you and dad reject her too. Even if it's negative she has security in what she's used to. It's scary to trust what you don't know. Of coarse I'm assuming bio-mom lost custody due to an unstable life and probability of child endangerment in some way or another. Mom is probably a drug addict or criminally involved in some way.
The best thing for you is to maintain your household (dad included) as you see fit. Hold the boundaries and be there, she joined your life, not vice-verse. You now have the responsibility to teach morals/values and hold the bar high, she can do it. I'm not preaching punishment, she chooses to cooperate or she chooses the consequence. YOu sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you don't sound mean, rather you sound forgiving and open to letting her prove herself. It sounds like you are on the right track, it's just a tough road. I've had 3 step-children who lived with us, mom was a drug addict and fortunately didn't have visitation at all. I think it's worse that you have that influence on the sd coming from the bio-mom. Stick with it.

[vicklynn]

Man, sounds like the bio mom needs a boot up her hinney.
There is your problem. At 14, reckless parents look neat.
Rebellion is also an issue at her age, and worse with the kind of bio mom she has.
Ill pray for you. I hope you can get through to her. She may rebell some more.
I had to put a lock on my bedroom door, when my sons bio dad decided to show up, after 8 yrs of not seeing him, talk about rebellion, it was worse that my son had ADHD and was a habitual liar, he didnt need bio dad in the pic.
He now wishes his bio dad were dead. My son is a grown man. I hate to see the day his bio dad ever finds him again, it wont be pretty. They do come back to you, but sometimes you have to lay down the law.

[Mandy]

From experience, I used to do this with my mom, I would steal her bras and panties because I was too embarassed to ask for a bra fitting or to even say I needed new underwear since I would ruin mine every time I got my period and still used pads (I have the period from HELL).

I thought maybe that would be her issue, but in reading this post it sounds like she doesn't have boundaries and just doesn't have much respect for you. I would just sit her down and say something like, if you need new clothes, we would be happy to get them for you (if that's the truth) but you need to stop taking mine.

Explain to her that you were going to return that shirt, but maybe if she had asked you have been happy to let her borrow or have the shirt, but she needs to take the first step and ASK.

Of course, I am no parent, lol.

[luv4chance]

Of coarse I'm assuming bio-mom lost custody due to an unstable life and probability of child endangerment in some way or another


Mom-ster as I call her, lost custody due to the things she was doing w/ her oldest daughter (who was at the time 14, 15 yo) while SD was only 8 or 9 yo. SD saw things and knew things at the age of 8 that my daughter of 13, never experienced or saw. SD witnessed Mom-ster almost cutting off husband#2's finger during Christmas....violence & pour outright uncontrollable rage when Momster gets mad ...just very unstable but if you wud meet Momster on the street, she seems like a truly nice person. Mom-ster was diagnosed as being bipolar w/ a possibility of personality disorders.....probably Borderline Personality Disorder aka BPD. I know bipolar is a horrible disease and if treated, she cud lead a somewhat normal life w/ medication. Mom-ster doesn't see that she has a problem, which leads to more problems, for her and everyone around her.

I'm very glad I had all day to cool down b4 this was brought to SD attention. Dad, SD, and I sat down to eat supper and Dad started in on her about her attitude, behavior & smart mouth...typical teenage stuff. I then brought up the clothes. I asked her , "Why do you feel as if you have to go thru my closet, take my clothes and not ask me to wear them? The shirt you took the tags off of, WHY? That was wrong and in my eyes you stole that shirt. IF you wud have came to me and said, "I really like that shirt, I probably wud have given it to you cuz I was going to take it back anyway." I talked to her about our relationship; about how close we used to be up until Aug. I explained to her things are different b/c even though she didn't say anything, she put me in my place. That I was only a STEP & had no place in trying to raise her; told her that if I am not allowed to do that, then I am not going to do positive things for her, like give her allowance, pickup her friends, or take her anywhere. I explained to her that I really enjoyed our relationship b4, that I treated her as if she was my own. That I wud like for our relationship to get back to the way it was, but she's going to have to meet me 1/2 way. I told her that I've noticed her relationship w/ her mother has improved and I'm glad for that, but just because she loves one doesn't mean she has to hate another....that she can love us both.

She clams up & doesn't say a word. But she did start crying....which means I was getting to her...she was hearing me. (sigh) Dad talked too...told her if he ever gets wind that the same things are going on at her mothers house that used to go on w/ her older sister................ Mom-ster wud end up w/ supervised visits AFTER she gets out of jail. We'll see!


Man, sounds like the bio mom needs a boot up her hinney.


Oh... how I can resort back to MY highschool days. I didn't know this woman until I started dating DH. DH and her were legally divorced; she had already moved the man in of whom she was having an affair w/ while married to DH. When hubby & I started dating, she treated me as if I was the other woman...as if I was the one who caused their divorce. She had ALWAYS intimated, ran her mouth, and threatened anybody who stood in her way.....most everyone, wud back down & kept their mouth shut in order to keep the peace. Well, when I came along.......... she tried pushing around the wrong person. I pushed back & kept pushing until she backed down. She meet her match & she just really didn't know how to take it. This WAR has been going on for almost 10 years now. I've tried to befriend her, tried to show her I am not this evil, vindictive person, who's trying to make her kid love me more than her.......... and it just never seemed to work. For awhile, we've been civil towards one another and at one point, I considered her a friend....but she will always have this anomisity towards me that I cannot explain or understand........:(

[vicklynn]

Sounds good to me. I sure hope it sank in and sticks. May need some help with minor reminders though.
Dont back down, and dont give until you see her putting her 1/2 in, not 1/4, the full 1/2.
She needs to work her way back to you, not you to her.

[luv4chance]

She needs to work her way back to you, not you to her


I totally agree! I haven't budged so far and won't until I see a change in her behavior and attitude towards me. I did for her; bought her things she she wanted/needed and all that has stopped.

One thing that really made me mad last nite was the fact that she never ONCE said she was sorry for taken my clothes. I even asked her, "Do you think I deserve an apology?" She just sat there looking down at the ground. (shrugging shoulders....TEENAGERS..UGH!)

[Tatesgram]

Being a stepparent, I'll add my two cents. I agree, your house, your rules. Doesn't matter if they're fourteen or forty. Trust, once lost, must be regained by the person that violated the trust. I don't know that I would agree to 1/2, you aren't the one that broke the relationship. You have been a better person than I by putting it out there for her to meet you half way.

Fourteen is a terrible age, I thought I knew everything at that age. But this is a good time to teach responsibility and consequences for her actions, you can't have one without the other, at least in the real world.

Good luck.

[cowgirlup@idaho]

Oh... how I can resort back to MY highschool days. I didn't know this woman until I started dating DH. DH and her were legally divorced; she had already moved the man in of whom she was having an affair w/ while married to DH. When hubby & I started dating, she treated me as if I was the other woman...as if I was the one who caused their divorce. She had ALWAYS intimated, ran her mouth, and threatened anybody who stood in her way.....most everyone, wud back down & kept their mouth shut in order to keep the peace. Well, when I came along.......... she tried pushing around the wrong person. I pushed back & kept pushing until she backed down. She meet her match & she just really didn't know how to take it. This WAR has been going on for almost 10 years now. I've tried to befriend her, tried to show her I am not this evil, vindictive person, who's trying to make her kid love me more than her.......... and it just never seemed to work. For awhile, we've been civil towards one another and at one point, I considered her a friend....but she will always have this anomisity towards me that I cannot explain or understand........:(

This is the Borderline in her. They are the worst nightmare! They don't get better, there is no recovery and meds don't touch it. As you probably already know, never trust her, the Borderline lives for the drama and the conflict, if none exhists, they will create it. I don't know of any professional that enjoys or even works with a Borderline because of their difficult opposition and lack of progress. I've worked with 2 for very short times. Once they learned that I didn't play into their drama they no longer wanted to see me. That is the usual road of treatment they take if they seek treatment at all, they jump from agency to agency. Your last sentence of the quote above is classic and so very true. I'm talking about bio-mom, not the sd.

[missdixie]

Hmmmm when I was a teenager and I kept taking my dad's cd's he took my door off the hinges.... I found it very effective.:doh:

[luv4chance]

This is the Borderline in her. They are the worst nightmare! They don't get better, there is no recovery and meds don't touch it. As you probably already know, never trust her, the Borderline lives for the drama and the conflict, if none exhists, they will create it. I don't know of any professional that enjoys or even works with a Borderline because of their difficult opposition and lack of progress. I've worked with 2 for very short times. Once they learned that I didn't play into their drama they no longer wanted to see me. That is the usual road of treatment they take if they seek treatment at all, they jump from agency to agency. Your last sentence of the quote above is classic and so very true. I'm talking about bio-mom, not the sd.


OMG...you know about BPD. (didn't mean to rhyme there) So true! Not very many people know about BPD.
I've researched & studied up on it for 4-5 years only b/c I was in an abusive relationship w/ a BPD myself; after the relationship, and trying to find answers, I started studying abuse & abusers. I started studying abusers about the time I started dating my now husband. In researching things for my own healing & benefit, I came across a BPD website & everything just clicked. Momster fit into that category as well....UNTREATED mental illness and abuse go hand in hand, IMO.

During the custody battle we were trying to prove she (bio-mom) had threatened suicide & was an unfit mother. We were also tryng to prove she WAS diagnosed bipolar. She kept denying everything...from the drug abuse, to the violence, to SD finding drugs & knowing what it looked like... so we had SOME of her medical records pulled at a local Mental Health Clinic here. I'm no psychiatrist but I had her pegged for BPD several years b4 this happened. The mental health clinic statement confirmed my suspicions. DH, SD and Mom-ster had to talk to a psychiatrist during the custody battle. The psychiatrist's final decision about Mom-ster was that she was "faking good" but no mention of mental illness...but of course, a 2 hour session isn't going to show much especially when you're dealing w/ a BPD. They are fake & GREAT actors when need be. Within those 2 hours, the psychiatrist granted DH temporary custody DURING the custody battle...something that had NEVER happened here in our County before. Our court system very seldom removes a child "temporarily" & especially during a custody battle.

The drama thing....... If Momster isn't arguing w/ me or DH; it's w/ her sisters; her husband at that time; her oldest daughter; her neighbor; her mother when SHE wasn't in a nursing home....Constant drama 24/7. Prior to all of SD's problems, I had decided to stop talking to; stop engaging in any way shape or form w/ Mom-ster; stop all contact w/ her FOR MY OWN SANITY. I tried & tried & tried to befriend this woman & nothing seems to work..... she either idealizes me or she hates me. I have noticed over the past 10 years, whatever I have, she gets. This may sound 2nd grade but she mocks whatever husband & I do, husband or I get. It's crazy! She's extremely jealous but wud NEVER admit it. I firmly believe she's a high functioning BPD b/c she does look, seem & portray herself as being normal. It's just behind those closed doors that she actually looses it.

Even though SD and Mom-ster have been getting along exceptionally well since Aug, DH & I are waiting for the shoe to drop. Mom-ster will mess up & SD will finally see things are NEVER going to change w/ her. The holidays are quickly approaching and Momster doesn't deal w/ holidays...too much stress. Christmas Day was the day she almost cut off husband#3 finger...SD at the age of 6,7 saw it all.

The day that I confronted SD about who she was hanging w/ back in Aug..... Of course, she got upset and called her Mother. At that time, DH wanted me to record her conversations b/c of his suspicions. Once SD mentioned to Momster what happened and Momster figured out SD was mad at ME...... Mom-ster talked about me for 20 minutes, saying vile, hateful things. I had NEVER NEVER heard such HATRED coming out of one person's mouth in my entire life. It was pour, downright hate for me & it made me realize, I actually don't need to push this woman's buttons. She can be dangerous & possibly hurt the things I love... my horses. I wudn't put anything passed her.

Sorry this is so long... I was just amazed someone knew about BPD.

[lovesfortune]

I don't have anything to offer you but support and prayers. I'm sorry, it sounds like a tough situation.

[menagerie]

I haven't read this whole thread yet but from the little bit I have read I'll pray for ya! I know from experience its no fun AT ALL dealing with someone with mental illness. My ex husband was a sociopath and I discovered that sorta by mistake as I had no idea what one was till then. I won't go into the 'gorry' details (I don't really like to relive that longest 6 months of my life) but I will say it was the most aggressive/violent and bizzare situation I've ever encountered in my life. I really feel for you and your family.

If your interested to know what a sociopath is look here: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

[luv4chance]

Oh, I researched sociopath as well. The 4 mental illnesses I really studied on was.....

bipolar disorder
narcisstic personality disorder aka NPD
borderline personality disorder aka BPD
antisocial personality disorder aka sociopath

Scott Peterson was diagnosed as a sociopath as well. (Murderer of Laci Peterson)

This really interests me....

The person w/ the mental illness is my stepdaughters mother...not my stepdaughter. I'm hoping & praying, SD gets my husband genetics and not her mothers. So far, at the age of 14, she hasn't shown any signs of mental illness.....other than being a typical 14 yo.

[cowgirlup@idaho]

Well you've done your homework, good girl! Now what I say won't sound so off the wall or drastic. You need to not engage with momster at all, this is what feeds her and keeps her focused on you. As you know, she gets her jollies off of your reactions and when you do respond (in any way), she is in control. Borderlines are pretty much untreateable by nature of the disorder, they must win. Don't discuss momster w/sd, let dad deal w/momster, if you pick up the phone and she is on the other end, hand it to dad or tell her in a civil unemotional tone, when dad will be home and then hang up! Don't let her engage you by asking questions. If sd needs to talk about momster, tell her she needs to talk to dad about it. You don't have to give her a reason, be pleasant, and get busy doing something else so that she can't get you into a discussion about the whys and wherefores of momster. If dad is supportive of you and sd, he will understand and gladly handle it. Remember, momster needs to engage you to play her game so don't play. All of our social upbringing of courteous behavior and manners don't apply here. Don't be rude, that's part of her game, simply don't interact w/her. I hope you and dad get full legal custody because then you can both disengage from the momster/borderline. If you and dad remain calm and normal, then momster's inappropriate, aggresive, violent and pointless behavior becomes a standout to the legal folks AND the sd. You have a tough road ahead.

[luv4chance]

Thank GOD for caller ID...when I see Momster calling... I just don't answer it. After trying for years to help this woman, I realized there was no point. I have washed my hands of her and her crazy behavior. Since all this DRAMA has occured, I do not SAY one word to SD about Momster. I try to say positive things...things that I KNOW she won't here from Momster...for example: You can love both of us...you don't have to hate one in order to love the other....talking about me and Momster. All Momster wants is for SD to hate me.......... instead of wanting her SD to get along w/ her stepmother & have a wonderful relationship, she feeds off us NOT getting along.

Cowgirl, are you a psychiatrist?

[luv4chance]

I don't know if Momster is on medication right now or not. SD hasn't came home in several months mad or telling us the crazy behavior Momster has done. Momster is on husband#4 and he's 22; she's 41. Husband #3 was 26. Husband #2 was my husband now. Husband #1, left her within 6 months. She's got 1 older daughter, who's 22; whom she didn't raise and left w/ the childs grandmother. Then she had SD. Now she's got a 7-8 mos old by the 22 yo man. They married in The Great SMokey Mountains...same place DH & I got married 9 years ago.... (hmmm?) She's never been arrested; she's too smart for that. But she's gotten caught by her siblings from taking money from her elderly mother who was getting alzhiemer's...
gotta go write more later At work

[cowgirlup@idaho]

Cowgirl, are you a psychiatrist?

Ha Ha! I wish, then I would get the big bucks! No, I'm a behavioral counselor and provide psychosocial rehabilitation to kids and a few adults. I work under a clinical therapist and a psychologist. I have had 2 borderline adults in my career. One lasted a month, the other lasted 4 mos because it was a court ordered service. They both fired me, lol. The court ordered one lost his case. My agency won't take them on if they can identify them before beginning services.

Your momster is in borderline heaven because she has a string into your home, the sd. She can tweek that string whenever she is with the sd and agitate your household. Even if you never spoke or saw momster again, she'll be quizzing sd, or bad mouthing you and dad to get sd talking. The bad part is you can't control what goes on between them. So you have to figure out how to insulate your home against momster and still have it a positive place to be for sd. I don't mean you have to say positive things about momster, I suggest you never mention her around sd. I mean raise sd (as you already are) in the most positive and appropriate way you know how. It sounds easy, I know it's not. It sounds to me like you and dad are pretty smart about your situation and handling it well. If the sd's behavior gets too disrespectful and theft continues or you start finding damaged goods, etc., seek a good counselor for her and give that time.

[luv4chance]

Even if you never spoke or saw momster again, she'll be quizzing sd, or bad mouthing you and dad to get sd talking.


Oh she definitely does this every chance she gets....especially me. When SD first moved in w/ us, she was constantly questioning, what we did, what she did w/ me.....whether I was trying to be her Mom. SD was 9 yo and she wud get in trouble for me fixing SD hair. So we had to be smarter.... I wud fix her hair on the nights we knew Sd wudn't go to Momsters house the next day; call me names; belittle me; berate me and AT THAT TIME... SD wud come home mad b/c Momster did this... b/c SD thought ALOT of me and her feelings were not displaced w/ teenage issues.....Now, I question whether SD actually gets involved w/ the bashing conversations of ME.... I truly know SD doesn't feel that way about me; I think it's more of a "Mom & I have something in common and are getting along" .....so SD hates to rock the boat or cause any kind of waves that wud set Momster off. But little does SD know that regardless what she says or doesn't say; what she does or don't do; it's NEVER enough, there is ALWAYS goign to be something that Momster gets upset about & just go totally off the deep end.

A few months back, SD's baby brother was down for his nap; Momster's inlaws were staying at her house, but at the same thing baby brother was taking a nap, the in laws decided to take a shower which woke up baby. Momster went totally whack-o; she lost it; goign off on everybody there just b/c her "perfect world" was messed up...just b/c the pattern was broke and baby got woke up. Strange....strange...

[luv4chance]

Cowgirl, well, she's @ it again. Since Momster & I are STILL not talking, she is trying to get a rise out of me.
Guess what she did?
She gave my husband (her exhusband) a calendar. My hubby LOVES Ford Racing; well, guess what the calendar is all about...yup, ford racing. All has been quiet for the past several weeks; no drama on my part thank Goodness...and I guess, she cannot stand it.

I told SD (cuz I know what I say will get back to Momster), "Oh, this is a really nice calendar. I've been needing one for work. I'm going to put it by my purse tomorrow so I can remember to take it to work w/ me. Dad won't need it for anything. I'll get more use out of it." SD says, "That's the calendar Mom gave him." I said, "Oh, yea, I know. It's really nice!":innocent:

[Mercury]

I told SD (cuz I know what I say will get back to Momster), "Oh, this is a really nice calendar. I've been needing one for work. I'm going to put it by my purse tomorrow so I can remember to take it to work w/ me. Dad won't need it for anything. I'll get more use out of it." SD says, "That's the calendar Mom gave him." I said, "Oh, yea, I know. It's really nice!":innocent:

Evil! Very evil! I love it! :p:hysterical::clap::cheers:

[luv4chance]

Evil! Very evil! I love it! :p:hysterical::clap::cheers:


Yea I know! Can you see the glow through your computer cuz I'm boasting....;) :innocent:

Kill her w/ kindness.....she wanted to get my all upset, ticked off, throw away the calendar, etc. but y'know...you have to be smarter, wiser and more mature than the crazies you're dealing with.... My hubby's thinks she's an idiot anyway.