Chavhorse
11-08-2008, 10:47 PM
I have just come back from 18 days visiting my Mum in .......I got there the day after she had had a pacemaker fitted....thank god that appears to be sorting out her health issues Mum is 81.
Six months ago mum had hired a couple of carers to come into the house every day and make sure she was ok. My sister visited 2 months ago and alerted me that she had a feeling all was not well with one of the carers on arriving I find;
Mum has given (lets call her Karen)
Power of Attourney over her bank account......red flag!
Her close friends have not been allowed to see her for 6 weeks as she is alledgedly "too weak for visitors"
Her car has been being used for running around all over the place by Karen and her husband
Mums cleaning lady of 3 years has been sacked by Karen as "now you have me I can do the cleaning"
Mums Gardening and odd job man of 5 years has been sacked by Karen as "my husband has started a gardening business and will be doing it from now on"
Karen and her husband have positioned themselves to move into the house with mum to be her carers until their house has been completed.
No one knew that mum was in hospital having the op, I rang by chance on the morning of the 22nd and insisted on speaking to mum refusing to be put off by the she is too tired to talk speech.
After getting mum home from hospital I sat back and observed both "Karen" and the other carer who I am being constantly told by Karen is "not a real nurse" and see (surprise surprise) total professionalism by Sarah and a total lack of skill by Karen and panic everytime mum is unwell.....Karen also insists that mother stays in bed, in the dark whilst she (Karen) sits by her bed stroking her hand.....I have to insist that she leaves me alone with my own mother on a number of occasions.
On doing a tot up of the bank accounts I see that vast amounts of money have been being taken out......of course because my mother has signed a POA I can do nothing about this.....
So my break has consisted of
1. Sacking Karens Ass (I then of course had to deal with the constant phone calls from her husband until I lost my rag and called the local police to go warn them both off. Interestingly I never mentioned my suspiscions regarding money as I could prove nothing but when My hubby went to give them Karens final wages packet (and yep that did stick in my craw!) her husband insisted on showing him their bank statements and kept saying if anything is missing it is not us!!
2. Interview, collect and organise all the visa paperwork for a lovely Philipino girl to come and live with my mum to act as her primary carer (cooking, cleaning etc.....mum doesnt need nursing even though she has been told by the wonderful Karen! that she needs 24 specialist care.....vested interest as my doctor said!!) we now have a wonderful girl called Mary-Jane with her and she and mum get on like a hourse on fire.
3.Reinstate the cleaner (who is a brilliant cook and will be teaching Mary-Jane the mysteries of cooking English Food more importantly this woman is as honest as the day is long and I trust her so her most important role will be as my eyes and ears!)
4. Ditto the Gardener!
5. Spend days in the bank to sort out the mess, cancel the POA and transfer money around....I won't tell you how much money has been spent but if I say this individual was charging 180 euro a day the equivalent of 250 dollars you get some idea!
Get the curtains open, some light into the house, get mum off her diet of boiled chicken and rice and boiled fish (my mother loves food and in the lase two weeks has lapped up steak pies, spagetti, rich stews and sweets and now has an appitite again) invite all her friends to visit and most importanly to tell me if anything worries them....it seems that they had not wanted to;
a) worry me
b) thought they were being petty
c) thought it was not their place to say anything as mum appeared to be happy with the Karen arrangement.
Long and the short is I am back home, totally shattered, but happy that I have managed to sort out so much in the last couple of weeks.....I am speaking to mum twice a day and she sounds happy and is having fun with Mary Jane, her friends and Sarah the carer I kept on to manage her recouperation and who is doing a brilliant job. She no longer believes that she is an old sick woman who needs to be in bed all the time ......I am still so angry that someone took such advantage of her to let her even think this.
In a nutshell folks where your old ones are concerned trust no one.....I know I will never do so again!
Six months ago mum had hired a couple of carers to come into the house every day and make sure she was ok. My sister visited 2 months ago and alerted me that she had a feeling all was not well with one of the carers on arriving I find;
Mum has given (lets call her Karen)
Power of Attourney over her bank account......red flag!
Her close friends have not been allowed to see her for 6 weeks as she is alledgedly "too weak for visitors"
Her car has been being used for running around all over the place by Karen and her husband
Mums cleaning lady of 3 years has been sacked by Karen as "now you have me I can do the cleaning"
Mums Gardening and odd job man of 5 years has been sacked by Karen as "my husband has started a gardening business and will be doing it from now on"
Karen and her husband have positioned themselves to move into the house with mum to be her carers until their house has been completed.
No one knew that mum was in hospital having the op, I rang by chance on the morning of the 22nd and insisted on speaking to mum refusing to be put off by the she is too tired to talk speech.
After getting mum home from hospital I sat back and observed both "Karen" and the other carer who I am being constantly told by Karen is "not a real nurse" and see (surprise surprise) total professionalism by Sarah and a total lack of skill by Karen and panic everytime mum is unwell.....Karen also insists that mother stays in bed, in the dark whilst she (Karen) sits by her bed stroking her hand.....I have to insist that she leaves me alone with my own mother on a number of occasions.
On doing a tot up of the bank accounts I see that vast amounts of money have been being taken out......of course because my mother has signed a POA I can do nothing about this.....
So my break has consisted of
1. Sacking Karens Ass (I then of course had to deal with the constant phone calls from her husband until I lost my rag and called the local police to go warn them both off. Interestingly I never mentioned my suspiscions regarding money as I could prove nothing but when My hubby went to give them Karens final wages packet (and yep that did stick in my craw!) her husband insisted on showing him their bank statements and kept saying if anything is missing it is not us!!
2. Interview, collect and organise all the visa paperwork for a lovely Philipino girl to come and live with my mum to act as her primary carer (cooking, cleaning etc.....mum doesnt need nursing even though she has been told by the wonderful Karen! that she needs 24 specialist care.....vested interest as my doctor said!!) we now have a wonderful girl called Mary-Jane with her and she and mum get on like a hourse on fire.
3.Reinstate the cleaner (who is a brilliant cook and will be teaching Mary-Jane the mysteries of cooking English Food more importantly this woman is as honest as the day is long and I trust her so her most important role will be as my eyes and ears!)
4. Ditto the Gardener!
5. Spend days in the bank to sort out the mess, cancel the POA and transfer money around....I won't tell you how much money has been spent but if I say this individual was charging 180 euro a day the equivalent of 250 dollars you get some idea!
Get the curtains open, some light into the house, get mum off her diet of boiled chicken and rice and boiled fish (my mother loves food and in the lase two weeks has lapped up steak pies, spagetti, rich stews and sweets and now has an appitite again) invite all her friends to visit and most importanly to tell me if anything worries them....it seems that they had not wanted to;
a) worry me
b) thought they were being petty
c) thought it was not their place to say anything as mum appeared to be happy with the Karen arrangement.
Long and the short is I am back home, totally shattered, but happy that I have managed to sort out so much in the last couple of weeks.....I am speaking to mum twice a day and she sounds happy and is having fun with Mary Jane, her friends and Sarah the carer I kept on to manage her recouperation and who is doing a brilliant job. She no longer believes that she is an old sick woman who needs to be in bed all the time ......I am still so angry that someone took such advantage of her to let her even think this.
In a nutshell folks where your old ones are concerned trust no one.....I know I will never do so again!