Confession

[Annasmom]

:( Alright so here is my dish.
On saturday the new farrier came out (he is excellent! I absoloutly love him.)
and after he left no one was at the barn which is strange because we have 35+ boarders but I know why because it SOO cold and the windy was making that horribly ghostly sound when it gets up high. Anyway me and Anna hung out for a while and I groomed her and just sat on her and chilled. And she was totally relaxed but I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn't ride her because of the weather change she usually is bad when that happens. But I did it anyway :doh: Horrible idea.

Anyway we were doing half halts with trot-walk-halt transitions and working on collection and she just kept trotting and starting cantering she wasn't responding to my body at all like she has been, and I got really frustrated and I kinda pulled at the reins a bit and the next time when I asked for a downward transition and she didn't do I said WALLLK really loud and I really firmly stopped her. Then I got off and did transitions on the ground and got back on with a halter and did a few transitions and got off (still crying.) And I feel horrible. Because we have been doing so good and she has been giving me her everything I just started crying. I burst out in so many tears. I can't believe I did that! I feel like a horse abuser. It was my fault I should NOT have been riding her.
But I still feel horrible , I feel like such a jerk like I ruined everything we've accomplished I don't even want to go out to the barn and see her I feel so bad. I know she could feel that in her mouth. :( I am terrible. And still that whole time I was mad she had the sweetest look in her eye. I know it was just because she didn't understand I was doing something wrong or I wasn't on top of my game. But she didn't deserve the frusterations of my wrong.

I just had to tell you guys because I feel horrible. I don't know how I can shake this I am a terrible mother.
I don't even want to go to the barn and look that amazing horse in the eye

[WashingtonBay]

Why is it your fault she was misbehaving? Walk trot halt transitions seems to me to be a perfectly reasonable request, even when it's a 'difficult' day.

So if she sets herself up as a primadona who gets upset, she just doesn't have to work? You don't really want that, do you?

Don't feel bad about it. I think the biggest mistake of the day may have been riding when there was no one there to help if you were to get hurt.

[Annasmom]

no.. we don't play that game anymore haha. but a year ago I would say that was the case

It wasn't that she was misbehaving she just was not understanding what I was asking her
and so she was doing something different.
I know when she is intentionally bad this wasn't one of those days.

and yes I agree , my parents were mad when they found out no one was there
and barn owners are out of town.

[ImaBronsonBear]

Ummmm, wow. My horses have learned that i don't really give a rip whether it's a windy day and they're feeling hyper, they are going to behave and obey me or i'm going to make my cues strong enough so they do. IMO, you did nothing wrong. She wasn't listening and you made her listen. Although, i would have done a 1-rein stop instead of pulling back harder and then started over. I agree with WB, it would have been good if someone had been around, especially if you're parents don't feel comfortable with you riding alone.

But you shouldn't listen to me, a person who rides alone in places with little cell phone coverage 99% of the time.:innocent:

[Ryderd65]

Sounds like you were upset about something else before you got in the saddle, and it somehow turned into a problem with your horse.

You're certainly not an animal abuser. Everyone has good days and bad in the saddle and learning from the experience will make you a better horsewoman.

Take a deep breath, let it go, and send the self-loathing with it. Your riding will be better for it.

[WashingtonBay]

I dunno gal. I think you're a little too heavy on the guilt, and I still can't figure out what you feel guilty about. Just go see your horse. :)

[Annasmom]

:) lol Bronson. You're right one rein stop would have been better.

Ryderd- Yes.. haha it involved a boy. Thats why its not a good idea to ride when you really don't "feel" like it. (ya know what I mean haha.)

and your right I have learned a lot .

WB- you still crack me up :) haha I will see her tommorow. one thing my trainer told me that sticks is that horses forgive but they don't forget , everything you do trains or untrains. So I should leave it behind to and start a new day tommorow.

[GrungeEquestrian]

Well I wouldn't say it was your fault. Lately I have been the only one at my barn too, because of the cold no one really goes out. But reguardless of the weather Trouble is expected to do what I ask. I act as if it is just any other day...which it is. I actually try to ride her when the weather is bad, it gets her desensized to things and works on her attention on me. I don't think transititons were too much to ask, it wasn't like you were asking her to do flying lead changes or jumping its was just basic riding. You didn't ruin her or step back in the game...don't worry about it...we all have bad days.

[Annasmom]

thanks grunge from experience what are some ways to get trouble's attention tuned to you even when its windy?

[GrungeEquestrian]

Well with all the noise she usually is looking around the usual almost tripping over her own feet thing. I usually do transitions, changing directions constantly, and doing patterns to get her mind tuned to me. I constantly make her think where she can't cheat just go around the arena with her mind drifting off at something else. I also stay focused on the task ahead...which usually helps her as well. Don't worry about it Annasmom...tomorrow is a new day and we all learn from mistakes and our experience!:)

[Annasmom]

:) those are excellent ideas. haha I should have done some patterns (duh!)

and your right thank goodness tommorow is a new day!

[GrungeEquestrian]

now don't beat yourself up over this....we ALL make mistakes.

[Annasmom]

:) this is true
so do our horses haha

[EnglishGuy]

Hey look at it this way.

You asked for the walk and she didn't do it, so you halted her. At least you got her in trouble (by firmly halting her) and made her learn that when she doesn't respond she gets in trouble. Its not like you were trying to hurt her. Remember your in charge and she has to do what you ask her to. It was a learning moment for the both of you.

[Annasmom]

:) true.. thanks english guy
tobey is very gorgeous by the way

[HeartofSteel]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I don't think it was really anyones fault. I have had days very very similar to this, done something dumb like pulled on the reins to hard because I was frustrated and then felt soooo bad afterwards. Niko slipped a few weeks ago trotting around when I lunged him, it was a accident it wasn't my fault and it wasn't his fault, there was nothing he or I could do to stop it. I sat in my room for 2-3 hours after that because I felt bad. I kept saying I made him slip, he trusted me and I ruined it.
I was over reacting ALOT, even when I got mad after he slipped and was storming into the house he was trotting after him in his pen nickering.
So don't dwell on it to much, it's not worth it. It happens to the best of them, I promise! Anna will happy to see you coming next time and I bet you'll have a 100% better ride.

[Annasmom]

:) That was so encouraging Nico! You have no idea. Me and Anna use to have days like these all the time 2 years ago and we've come soooo dang far. I mean its been probably 6+ months since something has happened at all , all of our rides have been fabulous. Thanks so much.

[HeartofSteel]

Yes they seem to come only so often when you learn how to control them. I used to have them ALOT with my old horse Mia, mainly because she wouldn't try very hard for anything I was asking her. She didn't enjoy it which made me get very frustrated which is why I ended up selling her as hard as it was. I also know not to go out and do anything constructive if I am already upset about something else. I'll just go out and brush him or something. He doesn't deserve my anger vented towards him.

[Annasmom]

:) WOAH! You just voiced what I was going to say.
Its so true. People don't believe it but horses really sense your energy.
If you don't want to ride cause something esle happened or your just having a bum day
you almost never have a good ride.
its so true!