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Kaitlyn
12-08-2008, 07:52 PM
Just thought I would let you all know,

I'd like to thank all of for the prayers and hugs. It's been a hard few days..(especially since I'm sick AGAIN! And it's some sort of cold/flu/gross ugh). He's finally resting in peace.:( It's still hard to say, but he went peacefully and that's all that matters. The wake was hard, all of it was hard. He was a devoted Catholic so today we went to the church and had a long drawn out thing for him, which I find just makes it harder. My uncle gave an amazing eulogy that made us all laugh and cry. It's hard to watch the people that matter most to you cry and be hurt. I'm sure you all know the feeling. It's amazing how many people showed up for all of us, not just for Grandpa, but lots of people showed up for support for the kids and grandkids of him. The wake was a solid four hours instead of two broken up, yesterday was a long day and a long day in pinchy heels. Lots of people I didn't know going 'I haven't seen you since you were in diapers!' Oh? Ok. *smile* haha.

God I feel like I'm going to ramble but it's so much easier to type and say to all of you, then to my family because I know it will make them sad.

I think the hardest part was saying goodbye to him for the last time before we went to the church. I felt morbid, almost for touching his shoulder and I don't know why that is because people were still hugging him and crying. Oh crap here I go. It was the most surreal, having to say goodbye and closing the coffin and then to leave him at the cemetery I feel bad, like I left him behind. But the funeral home did a fantastic job, cared much for the family and the deceased. There were two sailors present at the cemetery to do what they do, for lack of better words. Say goodbye to a good serviceman. Gave gramma the flag :( and the sheet (?) that was placed on the coffin at the church.

I'm so sorry for rambling.

I'll finish up. It was hard to see him, and see his favorite possessions, his snoopy figures, his Steelers pillow and it just feels weird going to grandma's and he's not sitting in his chair. But he looked like he was at peace, and he didn't suffer. His last day here was a good one and that's all that counts. He loved all of us, and I hope he knows how much we loved him.

Ok I'm done thanks for reading if you made it :)

mare
12-08-2008, 08:00 PM
I'm so sorry you lost your Grandpa. I understand the feeling of leaving him, too. I'm glad you got to see how many people care about you and your family. It's the only thing that helps even a little when you have to go through these things.

Horseaholic
12-08-2008, 08:01 PM
Feels good to get it all of your chest right? You can always talk to him too you know. He'll listen. Hang in there.

valleyrider
12-08-2008, 08:02 PM
So sorry for your loss Kzeiger. ((((HUGS)))) loosing a loved one has got to be one of the hardest things we will have to experience.. Knowing he is now at peace is a comfort for our hurt. Just try and remember all the good times you had.. Never feel you are rambling,, that is what we are here for:)

JackieB
12-08-2008, 08:11 PM
Sorry for your loss, Kzeiger. God Bless your grandfather.

cloedoll
12-08-2008, 08:14 PM
Awe, I am so sorry about everything. I'm real glad he went peacefully, though and don't ever think you're not aloud to ramble to us! Ramble away, we don't mind.

(((hugs)))

Sorry, I just don't know what else to say because I know nothing can change anything, but we're always here for you.

Remali
12-08-2008, 08:20 PM
I felt that way too.....like I was leaving them behind and I wanted to stay there. The cemetary was the hardest part for me. I tried to stay busy and did a lot of things with friends, for me that helped me get thru the tough days....just trying to keep busy and get back to my routine, altho it all seemed not quite real.

You definitely aren't rambling.....we're here for you, I think talking helps, at least it did for me.....so we're here to listen!

Cat
12-08-2008, 08:28 PM
I'm sorry for your loss of your grandpa. I know its really hard, but talking about it does help - so ramble away, we are all here for you. {{HUGS}}

42many
12-08-2008, 08:41 PM
I'm so sorry you lost your grandpa - I will be devastated when my kids grandpa, who lives with us and is older, passes away.

Gypsy Rose
12-09-2008, 05:20 AM
I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandpa. At least he's at peace now.

rums_mom
12-09-2008, 06:05 AM
You'll be Ok, sweetie. It will take time but it will get better. Just remember all the good times and keep him in your heart always, he will always be there for you anytime you need him. Just call to him and talk to him and let him know how you feel and you miss him. He had a good life. His service sounded very special. It brought tears to my eyes.

HaveFaith
12-09-2008, 06:39 AM
So sorry about your Grandpa. From what you say he couldn't help but know he was loved. You are coping well and have many good memories to carry you through.

Steelhorserider
12-09-2008, 06:57 AM
Sorry for your loss....I only have one grandma left and her memory comes and goes so she is in a nursing home. Cherish those you still have left and the memories of those who are already gone. You never know how much time you have here.

lovesfortune
12-09-2008, 07:12 AM
((hugs)) I'm sure it was a hard day for all of you. Like others said, it will take time for everyone to grieve.

And just try to remember that your Grandpa's soul wasn't in the casket.. he's already in Heaven, watching over all of you. You didn't leave him at the cemetery. He's still with you in your heart.

Vibe
12-09-2008, 07:53 AM
Sorry for your loss :( ((HUGS!))

Kaitlyn
12-09-2008, 11:55 AM
Thanks you guys. It feels good knowing how many people I have to talk to and can relate. I feel guilty for making you guys read so much lol. It will always be hard to say goodbye to a good person. It's amazing how many people he met and how they cared for him so much over a lifetime.

Thanks Remali. It was special, lots and lots of LOUD sobs then. Didn't help it was like 20 degrees or so with the wind chill. I'll be talking to him quite often, I'll write him letters :) He kept journals for most of his older life, every day he wrote.Some were so funny, my mom told me in one of his entries he said he had to stop writing because 'grandma's furry freeloading friends' were here (aka the squirrels). I suppose one of these days when it doesn't hurt so much I'll ask grandma if I can read them.

JackieB
12-09-2008, 11:57 AM
Thinking of you, Kzeiger.