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Tatesgram
12-19-2008, 10:01 AM
For some reason I have a hard time posting some things at work, so I had to skip the visuals.


Some people are like Slinkies...they're really good for nothing

...But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me? Go to Wal Mart & just look at people.

DON"T HIT KIDS! No, seriously, they have guns now.

I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself...

You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin special!

...you did WHAT?!
...with WHO?!
...for HOW MANY COOKIES?!

We'll be friends until we are old and senile.

Then, we'll be NEW friends. :)

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or h**p it, Pi$$ on it and walk away.

If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed...Always remember that
YOU were once the fastest and most victorious litte sperm out of millions!

Sometimes I wonder "Why is that Frisbee getting Bigger?" ...and then it hits me.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak.

A friend will stop you from overreacting. A best friend will walk beside you giggling "Someones gonna get it!"

When life gives you lemons, squeeze it in someones eye and hall a$$!


And my favorite...

I did not hit you...I simply high-fived your face.

FoxFireEMT
12-19-2008, 10:04 AM
I love the first one. I say that often & have that printed out & posted to my desk back! LOL.

Gypsy Rose
12-19-2008, 10:06 AM
I love it! Thanks for sharing!

HeartofSteel
12-19-2008, 10:26 AM
The first one is my siggy lol

Cat
12-19-2008, 10:36 AM
Too funny.

FrogInABlender
12-19-2008, 12:14 PM
Here's another one...

A Redneck was stopped by the Game Warden with two ice chest full of fish.

Game Warden asked the man “you got a license to catch those fish?”

Redneck Replied “No sir, I ain’t got none of them there licenses, these here are my pet fish...”

Game Warden: “Pet fish?”

Redneck: “Yes sir, every night I take these here pet fish to the lake, let them swim around for a while, then I whistle when its time to go, and then they come back and jump back in these here coolers”

Game Warden: “BS! Fish can’t do that!”

Redneck: “No its true Mr. Officer, here I’ll show you....”

Game Warden: “Aw come-on, I’ve GOT to see this”..

So the Redneck pours the fish into the lake and stood there for a minute and waited..... after a few minutes the Game Warden said “Well...?”

Redneck said “Well what?”

Game Warden says “Well when are you going to call them back?!”

Redneck: “Call who back?”

Game warden: “The FISH, when you gonna call the fish back?!”

Redneck: “What fish?”

Moral of the story? We Rednecks might not be as smart as some city folk, but we ain’t as dumb as some Gubment Folk either.

sugarsgirl
12-19-2008, 12:33 PM
Lol, those were funny :)

Tatesgram
12-19-2008, 03:50 PM
Here's another one...



Moral of the story? We Rednecks might not be as smart as some city folk, but we ain’t as dumb as some Gubment Folk either.

He, he he!:p

Horserider
12-19-2008, 06:12 PM
Game warden: “The FISH, when you gonna call the fish back?!”

Redneck: “What fish?”



:hysterical: OMG that's so funny!

Some people are like Slinkies...they're really good for nothing

...But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak.

I did not hit you...I simply high-fived your face.

I love those three especially the first one.