Mom issues...

[Kaitlyn]

Ok I just need to vent I think but any advice would be appreciated.

My mom is constantly negative, and it's really making me feel like crap. With my job issue, being that I haven't had one in a while even though all my bills are paid. still.

When I had an interview with a manufacturing company that's close to here her reply was 'well that doesn't mean they will hire you, you know they didn't hire me' seriously? Is it so hard to be like well that's good, I hope you get it.

Today, I'm trying to build up the courage to call a barn that's hiring for a manager and some other positions and I told her and her response is ''oh, you know, you probably won't get the manager job'' is it really that necessary to be negative? Now I don't even want to call because I'll just get rejected anyway. She gets me so upset but she constantly reminds me I don't have a job. I'm so irritated I just want to scream at her, but I don't because she's so immature and goes crying to my dad that I'm such a horrible daughter and all this other drama.

*sigh* Kind words are appreciated as well :/

[WashingtonBay]

Heh... I can sympathize... my dad is much the same way... though I usually call it pessimism rather than pure negativity. For whatever reason she feels it's necessary to remind you not to count on things that are just possibilities.

I fought it a long time with my dad, and let it depress me, and then I decided on a different attitude. I decided it was a good thing. I use him to tell me the 'downside' of everything. Kindof a reality check. I'll tell him all my ideas, and if I can endure whatever worst-case scenario he throws at me, then it's a pretty good idea :)

So you've heard it. The worst that will happen is you don't get the job. If you can take that, then go for it. Apply :)

[AUEquine]

My mom can be that way as well... when I was your age I just took it and bottled it up until I resented her. Now that I'm an adult, I actually hand it more childishly and it seems to work. When she does it, I call her on it, but it's usually a rather smart remark.

If my mom told me, 'you probably won't get it'... my response 'wow mom, thanks so much for the support and encouragement.'

I don't know you or your mom, so I can't judge if this would work for you, but oddly enough it works for us. We're mad at each other over what we said for about an hour and then we move on. And it rarely happens twice over the same issue!

[prissy18]

Wow. Dont let her negativeness get to you.
Its easier to ignor and look on the happy side then be negative. (i speak from experience)
My inbox is always open for u if u need to talk

[AppyLover]

I think WB said it great. Keep your chin up and you will do fine. Don't let her get to you to bad. Take what your mom says with a grain of salt and keep moving forward to do what is best for yourself.

[GrungeEquestrian]

Yup I am in your club. My dad is the same way...everything is the end of the world and it really brings me down. His big thing is school and college. He wonders why I have such low self esteem when it comes to my intelligence and such when he continues to tell me that I must not be trying my best because these grades are pitiful. Mind you I am not a straight A student but I do have a decent GPA and gets a A or two, Bs, and one C at the most. Plus I go to one of the most highly academic ranked schools in Illinois. His one remark that put me in tears was when we were talking about what I wanted to major in. His response was "Well first off we will have to see if you can even get into college, because at this rate your chances are low." Apparently he is trying to encourage:rolleyes: me.

Anyway I have learned just to ignore my father and his negative remarks, and I try to list all the postives that are going in your life. Just don't let one dark cloud ruin your view on the clear sky :).

[Kaitlyn]

Thanks ladies. I'm gonna try and call, still trying to suck it up and just do it.

She's always been like this and it drives my dad nuts, and I don't think she does it purposely but she could think before she says dumb comments.

I don't know what to say when I call, Hi, saw your ad I'm interested? LOL

[westmanfarrier]

My dad is the same way too. Very hard to ignore, always makes me angry and I don't get angry very much. I think it is their way of 'parenting' or giving advise that is, in their minds, realistic.

My dad still asks me when I am going to get a real job. I have been a farrier for almost 17 years now.

[AUEquine]

I don't know what to say when I call, Hi, saw your ad I'm interested? LOL

That's exactly what to say.

"Hi, I read your ad on, ......, and was interested in the posistion. Is it still available?"
if they say no, politely thank them and hang up. if they say yes, and don't imediatly ask you any questions say;
"can you tell me a little bit about the posistion?" that's a good broad question to express you interest.
make a long list of questions you have about the job, for anytime there's a lull in conversation. but otherwise just answer their questions honestly.

Job hunting is hard, I can't tell you how many job interviews I've been on in my life. Many jobs you're perfect for, but don't get. Not because of you but for many reasons: they already had someone in mind but had to legaly hold interviews, you were dead even with someone but they had one thing you didn't, someone had connections/black mail, etc. And the poor job market has just made things worse, but you just gotta keep pounding that pavement until you find something. And it's true what they say... it's easier to find a job when you have a job. So if the job you find isn't 100% ideal, still take it, you can still look for a new job while you're working! It just takes the pressure off!

[Kaitlyn]

I called and have an interview monday :) I'm excited but nervous because the last horsie job I hate I didn't get a day off worked 7 days a week and couldn't request off. So we'll see.

Westmanfarrier - That's insane! Get a real job!? Last time I checked being a farrier was labor intensive and makes money :rolleyes: But what do I know? lol

[Horserider]

I can sympathize too. My mom's like that most of the time. Good luck with the interview Kzeiger.

[mare]

Some parents... My mom was very negative and never supported me in anything I did.

When I was working on the racetrack, and self-supporting from age 15, I was a bum. When I managed a TB farm, I "cleaned stalls." When I ranched, she didn't "know what (I) was doing." When I became an occupational therapist, she told people I tested urine (one part of occupational health nursing). She was very critical of probably everything I did. There is actually some real question as to whether I and another baby were switched at birth. That may have set me up to disappoint her. I think I'm just a throwback to some of my wild, Irish, horsemen relatives. lol

I learned to follow my own path and also appreciate the enjoyable parts of her. She was well-read, could be hilarious, generous to charities.

Believe in yourself. You have achieved much and know a lot. She won't be the only negative person you'll have to deal with, and you will be prepared. They won't knock you down.