Sister suddenly wants him *vent, please help me*

[Jump The Moon]

UPDATED ON THE LAST POST, PAGE #2.
THANK YOU EVERYONE!!


Alot of you will remember the trouble I have with my sisters. The competitiveness, being triplets is high. Then suddenly wanting Billy. This has really got to me again.

All the while I had a broken ankle they didn't look twice, didn't care didn't want nothing to do with him. I was up everyday, with him even just talking when I could do no more. The day I broke it I went back to check on him. He wouldn't leave me, when I stayed in the field Mum couldn't get him to walk away to the yard. He licks me (you've mostly all seen the video hehe), he follows me over jumps, cantering - with no whips / anything just free, loose pleasure. I love him to bits, I never haven't.

Now, all of a sudden - since I'm back riding, his Dressage has improved immencly now he's becomming easier and nicer to ride - they want ALL! They want to ride more often, not be with him just ride. I begged them to ride him while I couldn't I begged them, his fitness I'd built up was lost... they didn't want to. Now when I can again they want to!! It drives me insane. My BO's noticed, she stood up to them for me last week. They never see the tears, though. I don't think they realise how much Billy means to me and how much it hurts me to see this happen, time and time again. I know Billy will never bond with them as he has with me because I'm always there for him, always. I don't pick him up for a ride or two and drop him for months again. But their words of ''he's as much mine as he is yours'' although factual to an extent (legal ownership and what have you) in relationships and bonding he is mine, and always will be. Nothing can break the bond we've had for the past 8 years that they didn't care much. I don't mind them riding occasionally or every week even, but this whole he loves me more than you childish nonence I cannot stand.

I guess I'm done venting now... sorry for being selfish (again).

[vicklynn]

Your not being selfish. I hated that part of growing up with my step sister. It was what she wanted when she wanted it, including the horses. Well except one she couldnt ride(broke her leg,,hehehe, sorry bad I know)
I sure wish that someone could step up and in to help you out there.
If I were the barn owner, Id be having a talk with your parents. Id try to make them see what is going on.
At least it would be worth a try.
((HUGS))

[Steelhorserider]

Sorry you are going through this.....maybe they will lose interest again. Wishing you the best

[Jump The Moon]

My parents know what's going on... but we just can't afford another horse **it's £500 a month!!** so that's just not possible and they can't really just say 'you can't ride them' because it wouldn't be fair... but life never is. I talked to Dad about it and he said basically if this causes so many arguments then he should be sold... I later made him promise Billy was for keeps forever. It just seems so unfair. But atleast it's winter!! Cold, rainy windy days - in the dark after school, the appeal seems to lessen. I am hoping it will much so for my sisters.

[Jump The Moon]

And thank you, for the hugs and best wishes - Steelhorserider and vickylynn.

[mandisue]

Sorry hun I know how it is with siblings, especially when the parental authority decide to let them share with whats yours. They don't seem to understand the bond and the work that goes into horses...

[IrisGreen]

Maybe you could try pulling the "switch" type attitude. Push them to ride him, be extra happy and beg, plead and push them to get out and ride him when it's raining, cold, and muddy. Maybe they will not be as intersted when they figure out it doesnt bother you and you are willing to share him.

Maybe have your Dad make a rule that you have to brush, visit and spend time with the horse a sertain amount of time per week or you can't just show up and ride him. It's a responsibility having a horse and making it a requiremet to put forth that effort to be able to ride him will teach your sisters there is more to having a horse and they have to be willing to do the other stuff that's not so fun if they want to ride him. Mucking out his pen, picking out his feet, cleaning the saddles, bathing him, are all things they should be willing to do or at least know how to do before they get to ride him.

Maybe talk to your Dad and let him know you would like your sisters to get more involved and learn more about how to take care of the horse and not just showing up to ride him when they feel like it. Let him know that you don't have a problem with them riding him, it's just that it bothers you that they don't want to help take care of him and it's not teaching them any responsibility when you have to do all the work and they get a free ride and don't have to help out or care about the horse.

I know it's hard and your Dad is in a delima. I'm sure he knows that you love your horse but he can't give you power over the horse or say it's your horse and you don't have to share. That would make your sisters mad and want there own horses too. So, he is hoping that you three can work it out and just ride the horse and that's it. But, He needs to understand that it would be a good thing to teach your sisters there are no free rides in life and you have to put forth the effort to take care of this horse if you want to ride him.

I hope some of this helps. In time they won't be so interested now that the weather is changing and it won't be so fun to ride in the rain and cold. Also, You will never convince them that he loves you more then them. They don't see it so they think he treats you all the same and he is just a horse. You know different and you see the bond between you two but they won't see it and even if they do they won't like it because they don't understand what it takes to get that bond. So, don't argue with them or get mad when they say he loves you all the same. You know different so just let them think that and be happy that at least they are spending some time with him. I'm sure he likes visitors so just be happy they are paying attention to him and know that they don't get to see how he realy is when he likes someone :)

[Equine_Woman]

I think IrisGreen has some very good advice!!! I don't think it's fair that they get to just ride and leave you to do all the work. I think the rule should be if you ride, you do stalls, groom and clean tack each time you go. . .they will quickly loose interest I promise!!!!

It must be so hard as a triplet trying to find your own identity and own way! And you are right! Billy will always be yours. .. big hugs and hang in there!!! And I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting something that is your 'own' especially when it's something like a horse that you love more than anything. . . I wouldn't want to share my horse with my sisters either!

[vicklynn]

My parents know what's going on... but we just can't afford another horse **it's £500 a month!!** so that's just not possible and they can't really just say 'you can't ride them' because it wouldn't be fair... but life never is. I talked to Dad about it and he said basically if this causes so many arguments then he should be sold... I later made him promise Billy was for keeps forever. It just seems so unfair. But atleast it's winter!! Cold, rainy windy days - in the dark after school, the appeal seems to lessen. I am hoping it will much so for my sisters.
If your parents know what is going on, how come they are not doing anything to help you out in this situation.
they dont clean, they ride only when they want, nothing is scheduled, ect ect ect.
They are glad you 3 are not my girls...LOL. Im not kidding, just sort of, but not.

[cloedoll]

Awe, you aren't selfish! That stinks, badly. I went through a similar situation with my sister with Keidas. When he was hers, she neglected him entirely. So, I became his owner, so I thought. My parents kept taking him away from me and giving him back to Alyssa, giving him back to me, back to Alyssa, etc. She neglected him all the time, she would just whine, but even when he was Alyssa's, I did everything! She did nothing! You have to talk to your parents.

[outriding01]

You need to talk with your parents again. Owning a horse is a privilege, not a right. It takes hard work and dedication adn your sisters are not holding up their end of the deal. Your parents are doing them a disservice by letting them develop this sort of attitude. Explain that you're working hard to make the money they spend worthwhile and your sisters are taking it for granted so they shouldn't be rewarded for that.

Wouldn't it just be so much easier if you could somehow teach Billy to buck them off every time they got on? Lol :innocent:

[Aina]

I'm sorry. I know how that is sometimes with one sister. I can't imagine having two. I guess I am lucky my other siblings are guys. They are competitive, but in a good way, and hate to see me upset.
Everyone has given good advice. Do your sisters have a hobby that they really like? Explain that this is yours and just like they wouldn't like you always trying to take over your hobby, you don't appreciate them trying to take over yours.

[TBgirl]

I'm sorry your going through this! I'd be mad and upset too. I bet with winter and all that (like ya said) they will lose interest again. So basically from what I gather, your dad bought him for all of you when you were younger, but they aren't really into riding like you? That's not really fair to you. I can see them getting on and having fun riding now and then, but if your the one providing the care and being consistent with him...he should be considered your horse.

[Ix3Morgans]

Ahh, I understand you.
Since I finally got a horse my older sister decided that all of the sudden she just loves riding and wants to show now but she doesnt want to put the work in behind the horse she just wants to get on and ride then give her to me to groom/cool out/bath/clean stall/feed.

I cant imagine what it would be like being a triplet.
My parents said that if she wants to ride she can but she has to clean/groom/cool out/bathe/clean stall/feed like I do pay half of my board. If she wants her own horse she has to take 4 years worth of leasing/taking lessons like I did before she can

Shes not as interested anymore. Maybe you could work out something like that?

[Mercury]

Agreed about the extra chores. If they want to ride they have to do the work- cleaning, feeding, mucking, whatever.

[Cat]

Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like you have had some good advice. Hope it works out for you - especially when the nasty weather comes - they won't want to ride then!

[Gret<3sBub]

even though it is frustrating it sounds like you will just have to let them go through their cycle but make sure they do fairly the fun and not so fun stuff of horse ownership

[zoel_222]

You aren't selfish! That really sucks. I'm so glad my siblings don't like horses :P I thin IrisGreen gave you some really good adivce.

[HeartofSteel]

Ah! Caitlin I didn't know your sisters name was Alyssa!

[Vibe]

Ugh! That just sucks!! I am glad my sister has no interest in horses. She almost refuses to touch Dolly..:rolleyes:

[Jump The Moon]

Thanks everyone, well, one sister sems to have gone back to not caring whatsoever. The other is settling with two rides a week, scheduled with me. So, I guess it's all Okay. Luckily, those scheduled rides are also under my teaching and supervision so I can be clear as to what they do. I'm praying she never takes interest in showing - because even though it might be nice, she'd loose all her confidence in one ride - i know it. Billy's not easy out places, especially jumping. She'd nervous, tensey and has a tendancy to just yank back - Billy just fights against that... I could just see it working badly... I hope she never wants to.
On the plus side I'm looking forwards to this weekend. Tommorrow I have a hack (you say trail ride lol) and a lesson for me =] and barn work in the morning... Sadly I'm feeling abit ill today. Have been all week and it's mounting- thank goodness I broke my ankle, though, I HAD to take my pain killers lol and it's been the thing to get me over my totally irrational fear of taking any medication xD

[Suzi]

I ride at a barn where more than one rider could be working with a horse. It can be frustrating. One may be alittle too hard on the horse and then later you may have to school him out of a bad attitude. I think the sharing of chores with riding privledges is the best way to go. Also, if a horse has multiple riders, it may teach the horse more patience. Hope it works out for you.

[Cheesmnky]

Wow Iris- you have some great ideas! I think it's completely reasonable that your father require that the groom him, pick his feet, tack him, cool him out after the ride, then brush him again- just like ANY rider is supposed to do. I know... siblings stink sometimes. Luckily- I never had sisters and my bros weren't interested in riding as much as me. :) It's my one thing I can do on my own. Competitiveness stinks. :( Be patient and try to be the mature one- it'll be obvious to the parents. :)

[Jump The Moon]

Thanks all, yep Cheesmnky - I'm trying to be the 'mature' one in this. Giving sis help when she needs it and almost encouraging her to do things (which, is making her back off somewhat?)... it's weird. But anywho, I'm hoping things get better as it gets cold, dark, wet and windy more often on riding days. It's so horrid weather often - I'm hoping the fair-weather-rider in her will be ressurected :D