My son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheBadLands]

Got suspended for punching some boy in the chest... his autism makes him, for the most part, lack empathy... so he seems to have an excuse (like always) for everything...

His punishment is he is responsible for the kitchen and dishes every day (and weekend day) he is suspended.. AND he has to write a letter to the parents AND the child (which was harder for him than house work)... apologizing for whatever hurt he caused them...

I tried to explain to him (he get emotional over me, and only me) how hurt I would be if it was him who got hurt... but he still doesn't get it...

I wrote my little brother a email about it all and I hope he will come talk to him.. he is also autistic.. and was a genius and had the opportunity for early graduation like my son... but messed it up and was a literal vagrant for years by choice.. train hopping, pan handling the whole 9 yards.. and since he doesn't want kids.. Alex is his golden child.. So maybe uncle Ian will knock some sense into him?

sorry.. I am just SO frustrated... I spend my every waking hour catering to his special needs.. and enriching his almost unreal intelligence.. but violence now?!!?

[Ariesgrl131]

Gotta love em' ;) Sounds like a good punishment!

[vicklynn]

have him come do my dishes too..lol.
Sorry hon. I know the pains of problem children. ((HUGS))mommy needs them.

[palomino]

Aw, hon- I wish I could tell you I know how you feel. You are way more woman than me,and I commend you, I hope this blows over and something sinks into him about hurting people.

[Diane of Buck's Hollow]

Just keep up what you seem to be doing so right!!!...It must be a little more complicated with an Autistic Child. I hope he can grasp the situation without too much trouble..for all of you. :)

[Equine_Woman]

I'm so sorry!! Sounds like a good idea to have your brother talk to him. Being a Mom is the HARDEST job on earth.

[FoxFireEMT]

I agree with Equine on this. I'm not a MOM *(YET) but I have seen so many Mom's including MINE struggle. It is the hardest job & It sounds to be that you are doing everything you can to make your son better in life & yet be his own self. Autism is such a tough thing. I do not know anything about it personally but only what I hear & read. I wish you the best with your son & it sounds to me that, your punishment was good & having your bro talk to him will def. help. Hearing from someone in the "same" boat! Best of Luck!

[starkitten]

I have a very good friend who is aspie. It can be very frustrating making him understand how others feel. He tries he really does and I know it can be frustrating for him too.

I think that is great that your brother can maybe talk to him and relate.

Being a Mom is a tough job - it sounds like you are doing the right thing :)

[Whitedresswind]

aw, it must be difficult, but your doing a great job.

[rocknK]

Don't know the whole story but boys punch each other all the time, thats what they do.

[AUEquine]

Bless your heart, I know this is very very hard for you.

I'm trying to help my friend through something similar, unfortunatly her son has no excuse... he's just a brat. He's 12 and one night this week after school he and some friends vandalized 18 cars with baseball bats. Beating in windows, smashing mirrors, denting, etc. Heck they even managed to flip one of the cars over. She's at her whits end with him, every time she gives him an inch he does something stupid. Either he's over at some little hussy's house when her parents aren't home (of course after meeting the mother she would probably cheer them on), or out vandalizing things! And he's only 12.... does uncle Ian make house calls to Alabama?

Sorry for the side story there. I hope things will work out for him, and he'll find something that makes it click. Has he ever played sports? Something structured that allows some energy/aggression release?

[rocknK]

Sounds like time to apply foot to @ss!!!

[cloedoll]

Don't know the whole story but boys punch each other all the time, thats what they do.

Just curious, would you consider this acceptable behavior if it were girls?

I am sorry pallavesta, I know you are a great mom, though. (:

[rocknK]

As I recall girls scratch & pull hair, not really into punching. Except my daughter, she should have her black belt in karate early next year. Good thing I outweigh her!

[cloedoll]

As I recall girls scratch & pull hair, not really into punching. Except my daughter, she should have her black belt in karate early next year. Good thing I outweigh her!

Lol! =P

[qh trail rider]

I know nothing about how to handle an autistic child in the best way, but I do hope that you will be able to make him understand that his behavior was unacceptable.

Personally, I am against school suspension. Why give a child a vacation from school? That is just what some of them want. I definitely would make sure he doesn't get a vacation. I would make him work his butt off, so he won't want to ever get suspended from school again. No TV or telephone during his suspension. I was pretty strict with my kids, but sometimes tough love is best for them. Kids need to know that we love them, but bad behavior will not be tolerated. Period. I think that schools should have in school suspension. Our school used to have that. The kids were in a small windowless classroom and only got to leave it to have a bathroom break. They even had to eat their lunches in that classroom. They gave them extra school work and it wasn't a place that they would want to return to. Our school also used to have Sat school for kids who got in trouble. That also wasn't any fun.

By the way, your son is a cutie. I wish you the best of luck with him.

[Country Girl 43]

Oh....wow! Well, this happens with most boys as they grow up. My son told me he had shoved another boy because he made him mad.....I of course had to have a chat with him. But I have always told my son never to start anything, but also do not let anyone push him around. He's a good boy, but does need to stick up for himself sometimes, unfortunitely this time, he was just trying to prove something and I didn't approve.

I hope the uncle can help out. Sounds like your son already feels bad for his actions. Oh...and I have dishes that need washing too...:)

[AUEquine]

Personally, I am against school suspension. Why give a child a vacation from school?


I agree... and it's more of a punishment to the parent than the child. Now the parent has to take off work, or pay someone to watch the child! I never understood this, it's supposed to punish the child because with out of school suspension their grades suffer because they can't make up work... if the kid's getting OSS, do you really think they care about their grades.
I'm with you, cram them into a small classroom with nothing but busy work!

Our school used to make the In School Suspension kids clean all the gum from desks/tables/bleachers in the school, or go pick up the rocks in the softball infield. We had an ex-marine in charge of ISS, he'd even take them on runs through the woods behind the school... if the girls wore heels... too bad! Unfortunatly times have changed now and all of that good hard honest work is now considerd "child abuse". To many lawyers and not enough marines in my opinion!!!!

[TheBadLands]

Thanks everyone :) Sorry for the mini rant.. but sometimes I have to vent.. to avoid flying children :doh:

Bless your heart, I know this is very very hard for you.

I'm trying to help my friend through something similar, unfortunatly her son has no excuse... he's just a brat. He's 12 and one night this week after school he and some friends vandalized 18 cars with baseball bats. Beating in windows, smashing mirrors, denting, etc. Heck they even managed to flip one of the cars over. She's at her whits end with him, every time she gives him an inch he does something stupid. Either he's over at some little hussy's house when her parents aren't home (of course after meeting the mother she would probably cheer them on), or out vandalizing things! And he's only 12.... does uncle Ian make house calls to Alabama?

Sorry for the side story there. I hope things will work out for him, and he'll find something that makes it click. Has he ever played sports? Something structured that allows some energy/aggression release?

Wow.. he makes Alex seem like an angel in comparison! I have friends with boys like that, too. I guess I should count my blessings :eek:

Maybe he does make house calls.. this could be a new venture for my brother.

Sounds like time to apply foot to @ss!!!

lmao!

I know nothing about how to handle an autistic child in the best way, but I do hope that you will be able to make him understand that his behavior was unacceptable.

Personally, I am against school suspension. Why give a child a vacation from school? That is just what some of them want. I definitely would make sure he doesn't get a vacation. I would make him work his butt off, so he won't want to ever get suspended from school again. No TV or telephone during his suspension. I was pretty strict with my kids, but sometimes tough love is best for them. Kids need to know that we love them, but bad behavior will not be tolerated. Period. I think that schools should have in school suspension. Our school used to have that. The kids were in a small windowless classroom and only got to leave it to have a bathroom break. They even had to eat their lunches in that classroom. They gave them extra school work and it wasn't a place that they would want to return to. Our school also used to have Sat school for kids who got in trouble. That also wasn't any fun.

By the way, your son is a cutie. I wish you the best of luck with him.

I agree!

I hate to sound selfish but NOW that he's suspended.. it backs up all of my pre-camping plans.. Bobby and I had things to do during the day today to get ready.. now we have to drag him with us. Which means he gets to have a good old time when he's supposed to be in school:mad:

[Toodlestoo]

My nephew, who is 10, has Asbergers. Apparently, there is a violent aspect to it. I've only seen him have a meltdown a few times, but he absolutely has no control over it. He is on a couple of medications that have made all the difference in his behavior but every day is a challenge for him and his parents. He is extremely intelligent which just seems to make it harder for others to understand why he acts the way he does. We were told that his behavior may get worse with puberty. God bless you son and good luck dealing with his Asbergers.

[AppyLover]

Bless you girl. Not every one or every mom can handle and nerture a child with Asp...?(I don't know how to spell it. Sorry). He became yours because you are one of those very special moms.

I think you are doing wonderful with him, and I think it will be wonderful if your brother can help him to understand.

Venting is good and all of us are here for you. ((((HUGS))))

[ownedby7horses]

Good luck with dealing with this. I don't really know what else to say since I don't have any experience dealing with this type of thing yet (Im sure eventually I will....I have 2 boys). Mine fight but not other people, just each other.
Again, good luck!

[TheBadLands]

My nephew, who is 10, has Asbergers. Apparently, there is a violent aspect to it. I've only seen him have a meltdown a few times, but he absolutely has no control over it. He is on a couple of medications that have made all the difference in his behavior but every day is a challenge for him and his parents. He is extremely intelligent which just seems to make it harder for others to understand why he acts the way he does. We were told that his behavior may get worse with puberty. God bless you son and good luck dealing with his Asbergers.

I have heard that , too.. and he is no stranger to outbursts but usually not so much at school anymore.. its been a few years..

Bless you girl. Not every one or every mom can handle and nerture a child with Asp...?(I don't know how to spell it. Sorry). He became yours because you are one of those very special moms.

I think you are doing wonderful with him, and I think it will be wonderful if your brother can help him to understand.

Venting is good and all of us are here for you. ((((HUGS))))


You dont know how much better that made me feel, thank you:)
Good luck with dealing with this. I don't really know what else to say since I don't have any experience dealing with this type of thing yet (Im sure eventually I will....I have 2 boys). Mine fight but not other people, just each other.
Again, good luck!

lol maybe he needs to get a punching bag installed here and name it "big brother" lol

[Mercury]

Hmm... is there a neighbor that needs their lawn work done that could watch him in exchange while you and Bobby go shopping? That way he isn't getting a vaction and who likes doing yard work;)?!

ETA- My nephew has a behavioral type of autism (I don't know much about it). My brother put him in tie kwon doe (have no idea how to spell that...) and he has been doing miles better! He is no longer nearly as aggressive. I don't know what your sons interests are but maybe an afterschool activity would be great for him.

[rocknK]

Pop Warner football also lets young fellas let off some steam too! Might be time to get him in shape for next season. Good luck.

[rums_mom]

My nephew has Aspergers. His younger years were quite challenging to say the least. Oh the things he did and almost did if we weren't watching him closely!:doh: But he has grown up to be a very responsible young man so there is hope. He also is very intelligent. Tae kwon do is a good suggestion. It really helps kids get in control of themselves and still allowing them burn off energy. I don't know if football would be right for him, football is a very aggressive game and he may have a difficult time "turning off" the aggressive behaviour. My nephew was a star soccer player so maybe soccer would be good too.

We are here for you.

AUEquine.....I hope your friend's son was punished severely for all that damage. Why did they do something like that?

[rocknK]

Football actually teaches you to control your aggression. Players are usually too tired to raise heck after practice & games. Makes you study too! Gotta keep up those grades in order to stay on the team. JMHO
PS Did I also mention it teaches teamwork & the importance of winning & how much losing sucks!