Wow.. it just keeps getting more and more interesting..

[TheBadLands]

So I found Alexs father on myspace...

No one has seen or heard from him in 10 years.. he met Alex one time when he was 7 months old..

And I found him.. his myspace was private and I sat there for a really long time deciding what I should do... and I decided to send him a message. Ten years is an incredibly long time.. maybe he has thought about it.

Well this is what I wrote to him. I know he will not write me back. But I just had to do it. So that I can at least say i tried.


I'm sure you can guess who this is.. and I'm sure you wont even read this. But in the event that you do..

I'm glad to see you're still alive. I hope you're well..

I teach yoga now here in Central Florida. I also returned to horses and train them part time.

Your son turned 10 in August. He's an avid BMX rider, an amazing artist, and an all around cool kid. He is advanced beyond his peers and is expected to finish school early. He already took a test SAT and scored rather well.

I wont tell him I found you. Mostly because he can grasp the concept and the reality of the situation.

I do hope that maybe some part of you has thought about this. And that you might at least take enough interest for me to be able to let you know how he is doing here and there.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

Lindsey

[WashingtonBay]

If he did want to, would you want him involved at this point?

I don't know a thing about whether he'd be a positive influence or not.

[Cat]

Good luck no matter what way it works out. I'm 28 and don't know my true father, not even a name. If I had a chance, not sure if I would want to meet him.

[palomino]

Jack doesnt know his father either. Im glad of it though- he made it clear he wants nothing to do with him other than not paying support.

[Equine_Woman]

Wow!! Good letter. Will be interesting to see what he says or if he responds.

[lovesfortune]

I think that was a great letter. I hope that it makes him think. I think you did good! :)

[sugarsgirl]

That was a great letter. Atleast you have what it takes to talk to him and tell him whats going on.

[quicktodance21]

i think that was a great letter. glad you have the courage to talk to him even if he doesn't have any to talk to you. I'm intrested to see if he responds to it. keep us posted

[TheBadLands]

Well... 10 years ago.. we were teenagers. I hope a whole decade might have shed some light on his ways...

A lot of it is that I feel I need to make that final effort.. because Alex wants to know who he is.. And I know alex is smart enough to decide if he dislikes him completely or not. And while part of me would like to say that I never want him around... the reality is that when alex grows up and finds him... it might backfire on me.

I know he was always a good person... not the brightest when it came to life skills.. but a good person. Who knows.. he may even have other kids now and have seen the light? Or be sfrid of the lashing he's get if he had come looking?

I guess we'll all have to wait in great suspense and see... he still has not read it.

[cloedoll]

I think you're letter was great. I wonder if he will respond or not

[TheBadLands]

I am wondering the same thing.. but I wouldn't be suprised if he didn't.

[cloedoll]

I also forgot to say, you are a great mother to Alex...that's what matters most. (:

[TheBadLands]

Awww I love ya girl!

And WB!! Go to bed! Do you EVER sleep!

lol

[SedonaThunder]

Great job Lindsey! I am impressed with how even though you have to be dissapointed in him, you were kind and honest... and you reached out. Like you said, you had to try and although he may dissapoint you again - at least you put forth an effort and you will feel better for that.:)

[TheBadLands]

Thanks Sedona..

It's scary I guess to consider he hasn't changed.. but it's expected. Does that make sense?

[cloedoll]

Awww I love ya girl!

It's the truth! I love ya, too, though! =D


And WB!! Go to bed! Do you EVER sleep! lol

The forum is her kid, so nope, no sleep, lol! xD

[rocknK]

It makes my heart hurt that a member of my gender wouldn't be a part of his son's life.

[TheBadLands]

It's the truth! I love ya, too, though! =D




The forum is her kid, so nope, no sleep, lol! xD


:) looooveeee

and yeah WB is drinking rockstars and shakily saying "must moderate..must not sleep"

It makes my heart hurt that a member of my gender wouldn't be a part of his son's life.

You know.. in these 10 years I have met WAY more outstanding fathers and men than I have met bad ones... so you're the majority I think

[rocknK]

Notice I didn't use the term MAN!

[SedonaThunder]

It's scary I guess to consider he hasn't changed.. but it's expected. Does that make sense?
Oh, I think it does. Like when you're hoping someone's changed, but figuring they haven't and wanting to guard that hope from being hurt so convincing yourself of the worst case scenario so if something good happens you can be pleasantly surprised but if something bad happens you're prepared. Like that?:)

RocknK - what a wonderful thing to say... underneath that tough guy attitude there must be a touch of softie, huh? I love that. ;)

[TheBadLands]

Notice I didn't use the term MAN!

;) note taken <3

Oh, I think it does. Like when you're hoping someone's changed, but figuring they haven't and wanting to guard that hope from being hurt so convincing yourself of the worst case scenario so if something good happens you can be pleasantly surprised but if something bad happens you're prepared. Like that?:)

RocknK - what a wonderful thing to say... underneath that tough guy attitude there must be a touch of softie, huh? I love that. ;)

Yeah..you hit the nail on the head (hug)

[rocknK]

I like babies & puppies & beer! There is a little Homer Simpson in all of us, men that is!:p

[Country Girl 43]

I grew up not knowing my biological father. However, I always knew he existed. I did have a loving Step-father who is my dad and always will be.

Now...I finally met my biological father when I was 30. It was a bit uneasy, but I got to know him as much as I could since he lived in Maine and I lived in AZ. He came out to see me and each of my children when they were born. We developed a good relationship....but it was cut short 4 yrs ago, when cancer took him away from me. We made to trip to Maine to see him before he passed. Of course by then he was on his death bed in the hospital.

If your sons father has grown up over the last 10 yrs. Let them meet. If the man is still a child then wait till your son is older to understand, then let your son decide if he wants to meet him. I didn't start thinking about my biological father till I was a teenager. Now I wish I had searched him out sooner.

My heart goes out to you......it's a tough decision.

[vicklynn]

My sons father showed up 8 yrs late one time. Ruined my sons and my relationship, for what it was. He now hates his father, knows him for the looser he is, and would love to see him six foot under(long story).
I hope that, IF your sons father decides to answer, it is with all good intentions for you and your son. I hope that, IF he decides he dosnt want anything to do with you or your son, that he makes it a gentle drop.
((HUGS))

[magayle]

i think it was brave of you to make the effort...you did good mom

[Happy Horselover]

I think your letter was very good....and it took a lot for you to do it I'm sure. You're a great mom! Keep us posted, interested to see if he responds....

[Diane of Buck's Hollow]

I think you have done the right thing ..just my two cents worth. You reached out and you have opened the door for him, if he wants in, he will contact you.

I hope it works out for you, the way you want it to. ((((hugs))))

[jeezitsjacki]

I dont disagree with what you did, I probably would have done it too. Im adopted and I havent gone after my birthmom. Honestly, im not interested in meeting her, but I am curious about my two older brothers I have been told I have. Although I havent persued anything there has always been that thought.

I wonder if he will respond or not

[quicktodance21]

i agree with everyone else on here .. you are a great mom to alex. I'm still curious as to see if he will responds. has he read the letter yet? and i hope that whatever he deiceds to do is for the best, espically if he[and you and alex] decide he should be a part of alex's life.

[Ms Eddi]

Just have to tell you guys this, my son's biological called him out of the blue one day. My son was 28 with two children, he said" this is your dad," my son said "no, it isn't." so then he says" sorry this is Jim" my son says "Oh, hello" well they talked for a while and exchanged addresses (note: we divorced when he was 3 and he signed off custody so my husband now could adopt him) so my son goes to see him. They get along great and Jim says " everything your mother said about me is right, I was a sob and I'm glad Steve was such a good father to you and I"m proud of everything you accomplished" YES, I was so worried that a war would start between my son and us over this but for the first time in his whole life he faced his responsibility and told the truth. He was the handsomest man I ever knew. But just to add a little icing to this, he's bald, yellow teeth and badly tattoed. But it did end well, now he doesn't miss a birthday and calls every once in a while and my son realizes what a wonderful dad he has in Steve and that I told the truth. So there's always hope. I think what you did took guts I, myself can take rejection, but hell hath no fury to any man that rejects my son.

[lovesfortune]

Any news? I know you weren't around this weekend.

[SedonaThunder]

I've been wondering about this too... OH LINDSEY... aren't you home from camping now? We're anxious to know if he wrote back!

Hope camping was a blast!

[Horseless]

I would send him a nice Child Support Letter and ask for alot of back pay!!!
Just think you would be rich.:D