Teen suspended for attending girlfriend's prom

[elevenelevenxo]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30669405/?GT1=43001

updated 3:45 p.m. ET, Mon., May 11, 2009

FINDLAY, Ohio - An Ohio teenager has been suspended by his Christian school that bans dancing because he attended another high school's prom.
Officials at Heritage Christian School in Findlay had warned 17-year-old Tyler Frost that he would be suspended and prohibited from attending graduation if he went to the public school dance over the weekend with his girlfriend, according to The Courier.
Frost danced and held hands with his girlfriend, Rebecca Smooty, at the Findlay High School prom, attended by about 800 students, officials told the newspaper.

Frost says he didn't think going to the dance was wrong even though his fundamentalist Baptist school Ohio forbids dancing, rock music and hand-holding, a situation reminiscent of that depicted in the 1984 movie, "Footloose."
Frost didn't go to school Monday. Instead, he and his girlfriend are heading to New York for a Tuesday morning TV interview.

The teen says he's now getting Facebook and e-mail messages from around the world.
School officials said earlier he could complete his final exams separately to receive a diploma.

I personally find it incredibly ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as being fired or denied a job because you happen to be a smoker (Scott's Lawn Care products has a factory in the town where Rebel used to be boarded....they do not hire smokers). Where is the line drawn between interference by a workplace or school and our personal lives?

This particular city, Findlay, is about an hour north of where I grew up. My high school played Findlay High in football....they were our "rivals."

[cheval]

It's Footloose made real.

Lame.

[WashingtonBay]

Crazy world...

Someone ought to sell tickets. :popcorn:

[JackieB]

Well, this is where I just love a line from Jewel's song "Life Uncommon". The line is "No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from." I'd give that school and the entire church the heave ho if I was him.

However, they are entitled to make their oppressive rules if they wish. And in defense of the school and church, they do believe that it's important for his soul that he not dance. I think they are completely mistaken and I'm sorry that they are missing out on such pleasures as getting to dance with the beautiful girls in high school or taking one's wife by the hand and walking out onto the back porch to dance in a warm, summer rain. But, they did warn him and they do get to make the rules.

If it was me, I think I'd muster up my courage and say "Mom, dad, I'm not a Baptist anymore. At least not one that can abide by a rule against dancing with my girlfriend."

[elevenelevenxo]

If it was me, I think I'd muster up my courage and say "Mom, dad, I'm not a Baptist anymore. At least not one that can abide by a rule against dancing with my girlfriend."

I agree. I guess I didn't realize there were still sects of Christianity that consider dancing to be a sin...figured we'd outgrown that era....lol.

[Sundays Man]

Unfortunately rules are rules. I don't agree this schools rules, but I would never interfere with the schools right to have such rules. Obviously there are some who believe that way and that's their right. I'm sure that in the end the media will have a field day with it and make all Christian schools look like backward idiots whether they buy into the same "rules" or not. It is a Christian school and anything Christian these days has open season on it for the media. Just like the Miss America fiasco. It seems we have the freedom to believe as we want in this country as long as it lines up with what is "politcally correct" and doesn't offend anyone's poor sensitive feelings. It seems that each side is saying that you have to believe how we believe or you are wrong, stupid, racist, terrorist, or some mean, bad, ulgly, nasty, wicked thing. True tolerance does not exist in our society any longer. I think they held the funeral for tolerance the day after common sense was buried.

[elevenelevenxo]

True tolerance does not exist in our society any longer.

I don't think this country's ever seen "true tolerance." Heck, I don't think modern society in general....ANY society...has ever seen true tolerance. We may have ways of exploring the solar system and the ability to be in communication with anyone anywhere on the globe in seconds....but true tolerance is something yet to be "discovered" in my opinion.

[WashingtonBay]

JB - I think the dancing with your wife is OK - as long as no one's watching. :)

It's the fact that these kids are not married, and they're engaging in risky and seductive behavior, that is the problem, I think.

[Sundays Man]

I don't think this country's ever seen "true tolerance." Heck, I don't think modern society in general....ANY society...has ever seen true tolerance. We may have ways of exploring the solar system and the ability to be in communication with anyone anywhere on the globe in seconds....but true tolerance is something yet to be "discovered" in my opinion.

Very good Eleven. I love it when our young folks are paying attention. What tolerance we had is what I should have said. I guess from the beginning we have been intolerant in one way or another. Now that I think of it...on the other hand we are TOO tolerant of some things. It's all very confusing. I'm going to find the Ibuprofen.:doh:

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Crazy world...

Someone ought to sell tickets. :popcorn:

Yah.

[elevenelevenxo]

Very good Eleven. I love it when our young folks are paying attention. What tolerance we had is what I should have said. I guess from the beginning we have been intolerant in one way or another. Now that I think of it...on the other hand we are TOO tolerant of some things. It's all very confusing. I'm going to find the Ibuprofen.:doh:

LOL, pass the bottle my way....

I agree, it's a curious thing. The intolerance for certain situations, but over tolerance for others.... -shrug- We're all human I guess.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

[...]but true tolerance is something yet to be "discovered" in my opinion.

When man is nothing but cattle to be herded and all opinion and free thought is extinguished, then we'll have true tolerance.

:)

[JackieB]

It's the fact that these kids are not married, and they're engaging in risky and seductive behavior, that is the problem, I think.

Yes, I understand. I do acknowledge the school's right to make whatever rules it wishes as long as they are legal. It certainly falls within their right to observe their religious beliefs. No doubt whatsoever.

[elevenelevenxo]

When man is nothing but cattle to be herded and all opinion and free thought is extinguished, then we'll have true tolerance.

:)

I disagree.

When people are truly able to understand the concept of "live and let live" THEN we will have true tolerance. The problem lies in all the fine lines of where his "living" interferes with her "living," etc.

[Sundays Man]

JB - I think the dancing with your wife is OK - as long as no one's watching. :)

It's the fact that these kids are not married, and they're engaging in risky and seductive behavior, that is the problem, I think.

Having been a Baptist all my life but not of the denomination of this school, I agree. I know that it's the temptations that might be presented from the close contact and the sensuousness of dancing that is the problem. They believe firmly in not even presenting the occasion for temptation if it can be avoided. And of course sexual abstenance before marriage is definately expected. It is also the staying away from things of the world and all appearance of evil. I don't know how they explain King David "dancing" down the streets ahead of the ark, except that he probably wasn't dancing with another woman. His wife certainly wan't impressed with his display. I wonder if she was baptist..hmmm.

[Aina]

I'm Baptist and I think this is ridiculous. However, they are free to make their own rules and if he doesn't abide by them then it is in their prerogative to kick him out. It is a *private* school.

[FlapJack]

Well, it sounds like they did warn him. I think the rules are ridiculous, but if you attend that school you should follow the rules or look into a different one more suited to you. It looks like he's getting some fame out of the whole thing anyway, lol.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

I disagree.

When people are truly able to understand the concept of "live and let live" THEN we will have true tolerance. The problem lies in all the fine lines of where his "living" interferes with her "living," etc.


Yah. Except that "tolerance" in the modern usage has become merely a liberal code-word. It doesn't really have anything to do with "tolerating" (that is: allowing) things with which one might disapprove.

It means suppression of any disagreement.

[JackieB]

Yah. Except that "tolerance" in the modern usage has become merely a liberal code-word. It doesn't really have anything to do with "tolerating" (that is: allowing) things with which one might disapprove.

It means suppression of any disagreement.

It's not a code word to me. It means exactly what Webster's says it means. And there are at least a few million others in the country who feel the same way.

[vicklynn]

Man, that is wrong. I am sick of Church rules. Its Gods rules were suppose to follow.

I tried to get a job at the main Assemblies of God, here in Springfield. Because I was married more than once, they wouldnt hire me. Know what I told them. IF Jesus forgave me, not really knowing then what I know now, who are YOU to judge and not forgive me. There wasnt much conversation after that, I hung up, Pissed. I learned that WE are the people, WE are not to judge, but only love, that INCLUDES the church. Its taken me awhile to forgive church people of their wrongs, but they are people just like me.
But church rules, I dont get that, cause that is NOT what is going to get us to heaven.

[elevenelevenxo]

Yah. Except that "tolerance" in the modern usage has become merely a liberal code-word. It doesn't really have anything to do with "tolerating" (that is: allowing) things with which one might disapprove.

It means suppression of any disagreement.

Do you see all things in term of liberal or conservative? Like JackieB said, it's not a code word to me - it means to me what MW defines it as being.

The mindset of "it is what it is, so don't bother changing" is troubling to me.

[elevenelevenxo]

VL - That really irks me that they wouldn't hire you because you had been remarried... I really don't understand it. Then again, I don't associate myself with any religious affiliations because I don't understand/agree with a lot of it...

[vicklynn]

VL - That really irks me that they wouldn't hire you because you had been remarried... I really don't understand it. Then again, I don't associate myself with any religious affiliations because I don't understand/agree with a lot of it...
Ya, I dont associate myself with religious affiliations either. I was a member of one of the larger churches here, liked it, thought Id try at the main office, nope. I did work at the church though, so go figure, what was up with the main office if the church let me work there "remarried".
I grew up a Lutheran, re-baptized non denomination. Were all going on belief, not religion.

[JackieB]

I tried to get a job at the main Assemblies of God, here in Springfield. Because I was married more than once, they wouldnt hire me. Know what I told them. IF Jesus forgave me, not really knowing then what I know now, who are YOU to judge and not forgive me.

Good for you, Vick. A very appropriate response.

[Ryle]

Just remember that these "churches" are just groups of people. They don't necessarily know or understand God's will. We all have to seek and find Him (and his will) for ourselves.

[Tatesgram]

There were rules, he didn't follow them. But why did he ask if he could go to the prom to begin with? It didn't take place at his school, it wasn't his schools function, why did he see the necessity of involving his school? Seems a little strange to me. Does he ask before going to the movies?

On the tolerance thing, I see it differently. I believe we have more Intolerance now than when I was younger. I believe people look for things to offend them. Everybody is offended by something, but you can't live your life that way. Unless it is harmful to you or yours, let it go. Walk away. I'm personally offended by the lyrics of a lot of music today and the way people speak. So, I don't associate with people that can't speak without using bad language and I don't go where that type of music is played.

Our society is too busy trying not to offend people. Let's not hurt anyones feelings, let's remove that cross that's been there for 100 years so that the non-believers won't have to see it. People need to get thicker skins, learn to let things roll off their backs.
I truly believe this country is becoming more sissified every year. They should learn the meaning of the term "Cowboy up". Or "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it".

Just my :2cents:.

[WashingtonBay]

On the tolerance thing, I see it differently. I believe we have more Intolerance now than when I was younger. I believe people look for things to offend them. Everybody is offended by something, but you can't live your life that way.

Agreed. There is a lot of intolerance practiced in the name of tolerance, and I think that's what RD is getting at.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Do you see all things in term of liberal or conservative? [...]

For political issues... yah, pretty much. Because they are.

[Annie&Dixie]

It's Footloose made real.

Lame.

Couldn't have said it better.

In my eyes, just because you go to a religious school, that does not control what you do outside of your school, your parents are responsible for that.

[natisha]

I would have skipped the dance & hopped right into the back seat.;)

Nurses used to have to be unmarried virgins too, that was the rule. Some rules are just plain dumb. Dancing doesn't lead to sex, sex leads to sex.

I agree that he knew he would be stirring up trouble.

[FredRock]

I agree. I guess I didn't realize there were still sects of Christianity that consider dancing to be a sin...figured we'd outgrown that era....lol.

Johova Witnesses (I'm pretty sure I just butchered that) don't believe in dance. One of my aunts is one and my family...doesn't really get along with her. My aunt on my mom's side is a higher up at a club that holds a lot of weddings, one of them was for witnesses and they never danced.

I think that, as much as I disagree with the school's decision, the boy did sign a contract and did agree to the school's rules. It's a private institution and they can turn people away without a second thought if they want. I'm surprised the parents aren't angered, but they might believe the school is right I guess. I'd be over the fence and screaming at them if they suspended my kid for going to another school's dance, but I also wouldn't have him in a Baptist school.

He could always go to the girlfriend's school. Two cents says it's public and not private.

[Pinky]

I find it ridiculous, but it's the right of the school to kick him out if it's private.

And I can't argue the religion side because I don't understand most religions and I'm a Jedi Knight :).

[grandmadeb]

Organized religion is just that Organized, by man, to keep the masses under control . The Catholics are masters of it. I attended Catholic school through 8th grade and was properly indoctrinated. My mom used to help at the school and wash altar linen for the church UNTIL.. they found out she was not Catholic and indeed was a not married in the eyes of the church to my dad, in fact she had been divorced. OMG. Anyway just about the time I was in 8th grade some of the rules changed- the no eating meat on Friday one in particular. My question to the priest was what will happen to the poor guy who ate meat on Friday 2 weeks ago and died and went to He!! for the transgression? Did he get a reprieve? He had no answer for me. It was then that I realized CONTROL was the driving force, not a belief in God. All organzed religions have rules made by man to CONTROL the flock.

[WashingtonBay]

Lots of 'groups' form rules of conduct, rituals, pageantry and customs. Religious sects are no different. That most of them are constructs of man doesn't make them wicked or wrong. Sure, it can be used to control, as here... but it can also be relied on to help people feel belonging, structure and reminded of purpose in a world that seems really big and random without these customs and rituals.

For some, the rules about dress, meals, use of alcohol, music and dance, actually give them comfort and a reminder of what's important. The displays and pageantry of belonging and purpose have appeal to a lot of people. Others reject it and either walk away or nail their list of grievances to the door.

I find all the rituals of religions to be interesting, even though I don't really follow any really. I think there is a dignity and confidence in purpose that those who do, have about them. They know what they are supposed to do.

[Aina]

Well, the pastor of my church cheated on his wife (but then he repented and was forgiven and they are still together) so we are really not about stuck up rules. I do a lot of thinks like not drinking or smoking, and practicing abstinence, ect because I believe it to be a better way to live life. (I couldn't live without rock though. That is just silly) However, I think making up rules about it just makes people want to do it less. I grew up with very few "rules" We didn't even have a curfew and after 16 we got to make all our own choices, even if my parents thought they were stupid. And yet none of my siblings nor I have majorly screwed up yet. And my bro just graduated college with a 3.4 GPA.

I have said several times that if I was an athiest I would want everyone else to believe in a god. Namely me. It is a way of controling people. Which is why I believe that anyone who is a part of a religion(or pretty much anything else) they should serch their scriptures or whatever and make sure what the people and scriptures are telling you matches up with reality.

But on the other hand I think the kid is just looking for his 15 minutes of fame. OMG, you broke the rules and got suspended. Get over it. Sillier rules exist. Like wearing stupid uniforms... Have you seen some of those? Talk about offensive to the eyes. ;)

[grandmadeb]

I guess the part that annoys me is that organized religions don't present their rules etc as man created but rather as God's laws and then they each find something in the Bible that they can twist to prove their point.

As far as the kid goes, he will survive. He knew the rule and broke it knowing what would happen so now life goes on and I don't think he will be scarred for life. I faced those nuns everyday for many years and I still became a pretty normal person... although I have an unreasonable fear of penguins. Just kidding!

[JackieB]

I guess the part that annoys me is that organized religions don't present their rules etc as man created but rather as God's laws and then they each find something in the Bible that they can twist to prove their point.


That's always been the toughest thing for me, too. I read something from a religion scholar one time pointing out that the doctrine of religions throughout the world will always fit what the humans want God to be telling them anyway.

[shewasmyshadow]

I grew up baptist, went to a baptist college, worked there for awhile and now am a member of a baptist church. That said I know EXACTLY where those rules came from and how they decided on them. I worked at that baptist college for 2 yrs and I saw many a dean get a little power mad. :rolleyes: However, that happens everywhere, not just in baptist circles. The boy knew what he was risking. It was his choice. I don't think it was up to the school to make the rules about his conduct outside of school, but I do believe it was his parent's place to make such decisions. If he went to the dance he probably had his parents blessing. To dance or not to dance is up to each individual christian. It is our Christian liberty. Personally I won't dance with anyone, but my husband. I don't want any other man putting his hands on me in that way. But, that is my choice.