dame_wolf
06-15-2009, 05:23 PM
Okay so this last weekend I had a fight with my friend that I board Koda with. Now i know that she was drunk at the time and taking out her frustration with her husband and their relationship on me and J but some of what she said really hit me. So here is the situation:
1. I don't pay for boarding anymore. When J and I moved into their house in town she told me that having someone in their house that they could trust and that would pay the rent on time was more important to her so to make sure that we could afford the rent there would be no more monthly boarding. Just pay for the grain, salt block, wormer, and shots for all 3 horses (instead of just mine) since the boarding is what she paid all that stuff for her horses out of. I told her if that is what she wanted then fine. She offered and I accepted, it was not my idea and I asked her a couple times if she was sure that is what she wanted to do.
2. J and I are just finally getting finished unpacking into this house. There are like 4 boxes left to unpack plus it is a much bigger house to take care of and clean so it takes longer then it used to do the house chores. Plus there are 2 of us to clean up after and as much as J tries to help (he is always asking if he can help or if I want him to do anything) the boy just can not clean so I end up doing most of the work. I know I could do more durring the week but I work late and just don't feel like doing a lot after work. Plus we are trying to get things ready for when his kids get here in a couple weeks (hopefully).
3. J and I are still trying to work out the whole his/her interests/hobbies/responsibilities. I'm sure you know what I mean. I feel like we are doing okay in keeping things fairly even so neither of us has to compromise more then the other. However, this also means that while the last couple years I was out with Koda every weekend (mostly) both Sat and Sun and we had already done a couple of trail rides by now. This year there have not been any trail rides and I've only been on him a couple times. In my defense though lately when I go out there I end up babysitting M cause she ends up getting drunk and I feel bad leaving my friend when she needs someone.
So what she accused me of is not spending any time with Koda and letting someone else care for him and ride him. I can't have him at home cause we have no property and my schedule prevents me from spending time with him durring the week (unless I don't want to see J). I already felt like I have to choose between J and Koda (no J has never told me to choose or tried to make me feel that way) because before J there really was only Koda. I also found out earlier that day (fight day) that M had been letting some guy ride Koda, not just her and her daughter. Now apparently this guy really knows his stuff and is an excellent rider so I told her that so long and neither he nor Koda got hurt then I didn't mind, it would only make Koda a better horse haveing people that know more about what they are doing riding him. This guy also figured out part of Koda's head problem and a new bit and head gear that makes him respond better.
So I guess it comes down to this, am I a bad owner? Should I be spending less time with J and doing things with J and more time with Koda? I really don't know, I've never been in a relationship where I want to spend so much time together and everytime I choose to do something else I love with J (like going 4x4ing) I feel like I am neglecting Koda. I make sure he has food, he is boarded with someone that loves him as much as she loves her own horses and he is being ridden atleast 3-4 times a week and when I am out there I try to atleast do some ground work with him (gave him a bath this weekend). I just don't know, am I a bad owner?
1. I don't pay for boarding anymore. When J and I moved into their house in town she told me that having someone in their house that they could trust and that would pay the rent on time was more important to her so to make sure that we could afford the rent there would be no more monthly boarding. Just pay for the grain, salt block, wormer, and shots for all 3 horses (instead of just mine) since the boarding is what she paid all that stuff for her horses out of. I told her if that is what she wanted then fine. She offered and I accepted, it was not my idea and I asked her a couple times if she was sure that is what she wanted to do.
2. J and I are just finally getting finished unpacking into this house. There are like 4 boxes left to unpack plus it is a much bigger house to take care of and clean so it takes longer then it used to do the house chores. Plus there are 2 of us to clean up after and as much as J tries to help (he is always asking if he can help or if I want him to do anything) the boy just can not clean so I end up doing most of the work. I know I could do more durring the week but I work late and just don't feel like doing a lot after work. Plus we are trying to get things ready for when his kids get here in a couple weeks (hopefully).
3. J and I are still trying to work out the whole his/her interests/hobbies/responsibilities. I'm sure you know what I mean. I feel like we are doing okay in keeping things fairly even so neither of us has to compromise more then the other. However, this also means that while the last couple years I was out with Koda every weekend (mostly) both Sat and Sun and we had already done a couple of trail rides by now. This year there have not been any trail rides and I've only been on him a couple times. In my defense though lately when I go out there I end up babysitting M cause she ends up getting drunk and I feel bad leaving my friend when she needs someone.
So what she accused me of is not spending any time with Koda and letting someone else care for him and ride him. I can't have him at home cause we have no property and my schedule prevents me from spending time with him durring the week (unless I don't want to see J). I already felt like I have to choose between J and Koda (no J has never told me to choose or tried to make me feel that way) because before J there really was only Koda. I also found out earlier that day (fight day) that M had been letting some guy ride Koda, not just her and her daughter. Now apparently this guy really knows his stuff and is an excellent rider so I told her that so long and neither he nor Koda got hurt then I didn't mind, it would only make Koda a better horse haveing people that know more about what they are doing riding him. This guy also figured out part of Koda's head problem and a new bit and head gear that makes him respond better.
So I guess it comes down to this, am I a bad owner? Should I be spending less time with J and doing things with J and more time with Koda? I really don't know, I've never been in a relationship where I want to spend so much time together and everytime I choose to do something else I love with J (like going 4x4ing) I feel like I am neglecting Koda. I make sure he has food, he is boarded with someone that loves him as much as she loves her own horses and he is being ridden atleast 3-4 times a week and when I am out there I try to atleast do some ground work with him (gave him a bath this weekend). I just don't know, am I a bad owner?